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funny ass comedian.dak sunglasses are always present on his face.
some of his brilliannce:
i dont have a girlfriend, i just know a girl that will get really mad if i say that.
cucumbers are pickles that sold out.
a woman asked me where i see myself in five years,i said "celebratin the fifth year anniversary, of you askin me that question!"
256👍 70👎
When one takes an unnaturally large shit in a public toilet and leaves it for the next guy. The shit may be so massive that the toilet in question may need to be removed.
Tom: Holy Fuck! come check this out, somebody pulled a dirty mitch!
71👍 16👎
Funniest comedian alive, see crack head, lol but the best crack head.
"I type a 101 words a minute. But it's in my own language."
"If you had a friend who was a tightrope walker, and you were walking down a sidewalk, and he fell, that would be completely unacceptible..."
"A severed foot is the ultimate stocking stuffer."
The Grand Finally
"I used to do drugs. I still do, but I used to, too."
100👍 25👎
When BajanCanadian is put in Charge of timing things
"how many mins has it bin"
"like ten"
"but the recording says 20"
"like 20 mins thats what i said"
"mitch time"
"yup"
27👍 4👎
Mitchel Hedberg is a comedian. His comedy is unique in that you do not have to see him to understand the joke. Givin this information, it is safe to say that the uniqeness of his comedy has complimented the understanding of his CDs "Strategic grill locations" and "Mitch all together"
Xylophone is spelled with an X. It's like X didn't have enough to do so they had to promise it more. "Okay, you won't start alot of words, but you will have a co-staring role in Tic-Tac-Toe. And you will be aquainted with hugs and kisses. and you will make writing christmas easier. and you will mark the spot. and you will incedentaly start Xylophone. Are you happy now, you fucking X?
260👍 80👎
The sequence of head-butting and beating someone unconscious then continuing to beat them. Only complete if you leave without checking any vital signs to confirm they are still alive.
That bitch wouldn't do me so I mitch wilsoned the fuck out of her
15👍 2👎
hillarious man who sees the world through rose colored glasses... literally!
yno, on a stoplight, yellow means yield, and green means go? well, on a banana, its just the opposite. green means hold on, yellow means go ahead...... and red means where the fuck you get that banana AT?
191👍 58👎