table whore

A person who refuses to acknowledge CSS and uses tables for the entire layout of web sites, rather than for displaying tabular data. Commonly found using heaps of image rollovers, old deprecated tags and sticking to a memorized list of 6 or 7 'web safe' hex colors. Still listens to that shit song by Chumbawamba.

Guy1: When was your site built?
Guy2: Last week, why?
Guy1: LOLWTF it looks like crap.
Guy2: Yeh, my developer is a table whore..

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Full table

What to say when you see some fine ass tiddy.

Bro, full table at 12 o’clock.

Table Leverage

This occurs when you order the most expensive items to eat and drink for yourself when dining with friends who will spilt the bill evenly. You benefit when the bill is split evenly among the diners by paying less than the cost of your dinner while others pay more than the cost of their dinner.

You order the caviar appetizer, the steak, lobster and fois gras and a dessert which costs $75 in total, when your 3 friends order cheaper items that total $40 each. When you split the the bill ($75+$40+$40+$40=$195/ 4 people = $48.75) you pay 48.75 for your meal that cost $75, and your other guests pay more for their food than it should have cost. Jerry used table leverage by eating like a king and making his vegan friends pay for it.

table math

when you are out in a group at a bar or restaurant and there is a shared bill and no one has change(usually for a twenty) or the correct amount for their portion of the tab . Thus follows a complex series of illogical but correct money swaps to come out with the correct amount for the bill plus tip.

Lets settle the bill. I think we need some table math. You give me a twenty, i will put in fifteen and cover you five on your tab and then you give him a ten. That should make us even.

Table 1

noun, often attributive
A retort so dominant, complete, and masterful that any reply would be unwarranted and futile.

My Table 1 ended the debate once and for all.

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Whittaker's table

Pos: Noun

This is when somebody who has a large stomach that protrudes sits down and realizes that they cant reach the table or other surface to place food and eat like a normal person. So they then lean back and puff their stomach out and use it as a mobile table. Works very nicely and can accommodate a Big Mac meal if the technique is used correctly.

"Earlier today i used whittaker's table technique to hold my entire lunch. It saved me the trouble of finding a table! Plus i could eat anywhere i wanted!"

Craps Table

When a girl handles your testicles with unrelenting vigor, groping your jewels very aggressively. I.e. she rattles your balls like she's working a craps table. Very pleasurable.

Friend: Dude, did you get with that bootylicious dimebag last night?

Receiver: Yeah man, she totally craps tabled the shit out of my testicles while sucking on the tip of my cock! I came so hard I thought my soul exited my body through my penis.