tax season

The time of year from early January to April 15th when public accountants are busy preparing and filing tax returns for their clients.

The time of year from early January to April 15th when families and friends of public accountants are abandoned or left to fend for themselves.

Tax season is in full swing. I won't see much of my husband until April 15th.

My husband is so busy and brain-drained during tax season that he doesn't do anything but vegetate or sleep on his day off!

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tax evasion

1) Noun. The illegal nonpayment or avoidance of paying tax.

2) Exclamation. Considered by many to be the single most offensive word in the English language.

1) My brother just got jailed for tax evasion!

2) Guy 1: My parents are asleep, we can say bad words
Guy 2: tax evasion

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Asshole Tax

Clothes, food/drinks, music, DVDs, books and/or other miscellaneous gear that is left behind for the taking after a friend or significant other unexpectedly disappears.

That's a cool bike! Where did you get it?
Oh, Zack left it at my house before he suddenly broke up with me.
Are you going to give it back?
No, I'm considering it Asshole Tax.

Hey! I like your hat!
Thanks! It was Gina's before she became a bat shit crazy bitch and stopped hanging out with me.
Oh sweet, so it's her Asshole Tax.

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pussy tax

1: A tax men pay in order to get laid. 2: Having to do something with your girlfriend that you ordinarily would not do. The thought being that you're only doing it in order to get laid (eg: attend a chick flick, a play, or an art gallery).

dude #1: Have you seen that horrible Tori Spelling show?
dude #2: No.
dude #1: I was at my girlfriends last night paying pussy taxes
and had to watch it. It's horrible.

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tax relief

the extra large shit you take after you find out how much you have to pay in taxes

95k to federal???, get out of the bathroom!!
I need Tax Relief!!!

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COUNCIL TAX

Council tax eg meaning the balifs

barry: who called??
carol: its the council tax!!
omfg it before they tear ur balls off!!!

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Sales Tax

(n) Money pick-pocketed by the government.

Fred: Why is it that every time I visit the store, I feel like my pocket gets picked?

Wilma: That's the sales tax, dear. The government can do it legally. But if a pickpocket does it, he goes to prison.

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