Happy Holidays You Bastards

An act of defiance, to not come home for christmas because of ongoing conflict with your family. This conflict can be past or present.

(Incoming call from your brother back home)...Gabe you should really come back home with the family for the holidays this year.

Gabe: Happy Holidays You Bastards!!!!

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happy fuck you year

Happy Fuck You Year is the appropriate saying to send to someone who was shitty to you in the past, and you have no desire to wish a 'happy' new year. It is especially appropriate for ex's. Gets the message across quickly in a a mean, slightly stinging manner.

Karen to BFF: My ex was such a jerk last year... Lying, dating other people... I sent him this sexy selfie at 12:01 am New Years Eve and said "Happy Fuck You Year !"

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jacky daniel's happy ending

When one fraternity pledge, while pledging, is forced to take a shot of jack daniel's mixed with the cum of his "grand-big."

1. You are pre-gaming at your fraternity when your big tells you it's time for you first "jacky daniel's happy ending." You are then blindfolded and wait for your shot to be mixed. While you were blindfolded your "grand-big" ejaculates into the shot glass and fills the rest with jack daniels. You then down the shot like a champ and are forced to say "YUM."

2."Wow, Frats are GAY"

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Happy Wife Syndrome

It is a birth defect in which a male has two heads on his member, allowing him to use them for both kinds of penetration at the same time. Thus making his wife very happy.

Rachel: "Why does Sally always have a smile on her face?"
Julie: "It's because Josh has Happy Wife Syndrome."

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happy hour

(1) n. A social gathering in Calhoun College that features free food, free arteriosclerosis, but no alcohol. None. (2) n. Another apparently unrelated event that is "happy" only because you just drank your way into oblivion for less than $9.

"Wow, that happy hour at Calhoun College was such good, wholesome fun!"

"Let's go to that other happy hour; I hear that there's alcohol!"

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happy bit-lated birthday

spoonerism for happy belated birthday.

this message can be posted on a facebook wall between a week to 364 days of the date of the event in question:

- dude, sorry i forgot, happy bit-lated birthday, man.

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Five dollar happy meal

A blow job given by an Asian masseuse in a massage parlor.

Asian masseuse: you want special?
Client: yeah, baby, I want a five dollar happy meal.

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