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Phrase used when a pub door swings back and nearly dislodges the pyramid of glasses being carried back to table, or when a twat cyclist speeds through a red light at a pedestrian crossing and almost kills you, or practically anytime 'fuckin hell', 'you fuckin twat', or 'shiiiiiiit' simply doesn't cut the mustard.
Used sparingly, it's effective, offensive and infectious.
Jesus fucked a monkey!, watch out twat.
A word coined by the famous Ricky Bobby now used as a synonym for phrases like "Oh shit," Oh no," and my personal favorite, "Well fuck me"
Someone: I forgot my phone and my keys and my underwear.
Me: Oh baby jesus that sucks cow balls.
How Jesus sasses the Pharisees or makes them stfu
Pharisees: "Can you stop claiming to be God!"
Jesus: "No, I am God because I'm Jesus"
Pharisees: "We hate this guy so much"
What one would say when surprised, angered, or amazed by something. This is not blasphemous because you are not speaking of the Lord, just some dude with the same name, with explitives added for emphasis.
Don't rub your dogs balls in public. Jesus Fuckin Shit Dude! Use you head!
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When things are so hard to understand that all you can do is call forth Jesus.
Person1: Did you hear Keri is still a hoe.
Person2: After she apparently found the Lord?
Person1: Yes.
Person2: Oh Jesus take the wheel!!
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Almost 50 years ago, I worked in an operating room. One of the doctors always swore Jesus H. Christ. When asked what the "H" stood for, he answered, "For Hallmark, for those who care to send the very best."
Jesus H. Christ, are you stupid or what?
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an exclamation one shouts when frustrated, surprised, or overwhelmed.
Jesus Buttfucking Christ! I just stepped in a pile of dog shit!
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