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Also known as Longbeard Kevin. Is known to dip his long girl like hair into the grease vats at his place of employment. “Anal Town.” He’s know to spend much of the day at Singing Salmon. He also does free lance jiggalo work for a side hustle. Many people who see him mistake him for a pirate. Which in fact he is. Ex lovers of kevin’s often tell tales of his devil dick. His soul is 147 years old. And most notably he has a Great Uncle who was in the olympics. But to clarify he would NEVER under any circumstance date a girl who is in the olympics.
Random person: look over there its a fucking pirate!!
Me: thats kevin
Shep: hey i have this girl that i think you would like should i give her you’re number
Kevin: is she in the olympics?
Al: this fat old lady at the bar is lookin for someone to fuck
Me: ill call kevin.
A big gypo who’s afraid of needles and wants to get Covid
Paul wouldn’t hold Kevin’s hand so Kevin didn’t get the vaccine
Kevin is one to love driving and the outdoors. He has a big heart for those in his life that he cares about. Once you really allow yourself to get to know him, you'll be hooked. Never underestimate how understanding and caring a Kevin is. He may not be ready for anything with you, but he is worth the wait.
"A Kevin is a rad ass dingus."
A complete asshole, especially if he is Hungarian or from West Virginia.
"ew.. it's Kevin.."
Kevin is a strange and aggresive guy who wants to beat everyone.
"This ass hole is a real KEVIN!"
A bitch who has had like 20 girlfriends in the past year and has cheated on every single on of them.he also likes to say the n word even though he knows he’s not black.another thing he likes to do is lie about his race and change it basically every day.he will also threaten to beat you up if you talk shit abt him(he won’t go near you though)and he’s overall an annoying ass racist-Saige<3
Person 1:oh no what happened to Kevin’s gf
Person 2:didn’t you hear… he cheated on her:(
Person 1:ugh again!hes such a bitch sometimes
Kevin:DONT TALK SHIT ABT ME YOU FUCKING F-