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Its an old superstition about A sneaky lil midget bandit theif in the night that climbs in your bathroom window and burgles the turd right out the bowl that more than likely are there because you got shit faced and forgot to flush or your dirty lazy kids left the bowl present for the turd bandit. Because the story goes.... Feed the turd burglar once a week and you will never get a stomach. Keep that gut flora happy ... Feed the turd burglars.
"Tiny tim dont flush that shit you know you got to leave that for the turd burglar tonight or you will end up with a belly ache
Someone who steals your shit to make themselves look better to others.
Jim: "Jesus Dan. Did John just take your iPhone to show to his girlfriend?"
Dan: "Yea. He's a turd burglar."
Hey Roy! The toilet is full in the port a pot, think you can wave down the turd burglars when they drive by to empty it for us?
a funny insult which could be used when someone is/was being a dick, usually in a non-serious manner (also see turgle for further details).
mike: *steals jenny's phone*
jenny: give it back you turd burglar
An individual who has the annoying habit of making a scene outside the stall while you’re trying pop a deuce in order to get you to hurry up. Turd Burglars show up typical when you’re in public bathroom in a busy location and someone very impatient shows up and decides to interrupt your shitting session.
>You: answering nature’s call in a public bathroom like a normal person
> Turd burglar: “ Hurry up mister I need to go, I NEED TO GO!!!” X 50 on loop until you finish pushing your slimy turd
Someone who simply steals your poop. You could be taking a nice dump, not knowing what’s hiding in your shower, or under your sink… as soon as you stand up from the toilet and turn away for a second… your turd will be gone because the turd burglar took it. You will not catch them… nor see them.. unless they’re over 34 years of age. They are either assigned to a person at the age of 6, or placed into a house when built, and will steal everyone’s turds that ever lives there.
Frank - “Yo… I just took a shit, and when I turned around to flush… it wasn’t there”
Marlo- “oh, it was probably the turd burglar
The turd song was originally from BTR’s TV show on Nickelodeon. It first exist on the first episode where James sang a good song At an audition and then Gustavo turned and said that James has no talent and then Kendall came in front of stage telling Gustavo that “NO TALENT, UR THE ONE WITH NO TALENT IN 10 years” and Gustavo said one of his old songs was a hit 9yrs ago, and then Kendal jumped on top of his desk and sang that old song (in an insulting way) Gustavo mentioned, and then they called security. And then Kendall sang the turd song kicking the stuff in the table.
So when you’re pissed off by someone, you just jumped on top of their desk and sing the turd song at that person and kick their stuff off the desk while singing the turd song.
Lyrics:
Oh you’re such a turd.
Oh yeah a giant turd.
You look like a turd.
And you smell like a turd.
Miss Best: Alright class, can somebody explain what is respiration
Everyone: uhhh uhhhh uhhhhhhhhh
Miss best: Grrrr Everyone stand up on your chairs and hands up your head.
Everybody complains*
Me *looks at an airplane flying by*
Miss best: *in an angry way* Why the heck you weren’t watching me while I was teaching about respiration.
Me: GRRRRRRRR YOU STUPID BITCH, YOU HAD ME STANDING ON MY DESK FOR HOURS WITH MY HANDS ON MY HEAD LIKE A GODDAMN SLAVE, SO WHATS SO WRONG TO WATCH A BLOODY AIRPLANE PASSES *goes on top of her desk* YOU UGLY ASS WHORE YOU ARE THE TEACHER WHO MADE STUDENTS LIVES MISERABLE AND WE CANT TAKE IT ON. OH BY THE WAY HERE A SONG FOR YOU *Sings the turd song*
Miss best: you’re going to Detention for calling me bitch and whore and going on my desk and singing some song and kicking my crap from my desk.
Me: *kicks the bitch on her face*