shwang yer dang

What happens when you're name is Kevin.

Kevin! Don't shwang yer dang! SHAITH!

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Muffins up yer dirtbox

The act of shoving a muffin (or muffins of any flavour) up a gaping, yawning sphincter. In some circumstances, this is repeated until no further baked delight is phsically capable of entering the tortured, distended shitchute, even after a good ramming with a broomhandle.

What could we do in this year's Talent Show? I dunno, luv, how about we try the "muffins up yer dirtbox" routine? That went down well at your mum's 80th.

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yer da sells Avon

A Scots/Scottish insult translating roughly as “Your father is a cosmetics salesman.” Avon was a cosmetics company that operates like a pyramid scheme, though it is completely possible to be an Avon lady (or an Avon man in this case) and make a profit the legitimate way without recruiting new members.

Aw fuck off mate yer da sells Avon

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we did yer mom

something to say at school when someone who was absent asks what we did yesterday.

dougal:hey what did we do yesterday?
Me:we did yer mom yeah she was pretty amazing i must say.

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yer mom's box

Your mothers all encompassing glory.

I stumbled upon three hobos roasting what I was certain to be fish. At second glance I had to ask what the rather strangely formed chuck turning on the spit was. He ripped another gob up from the ground, smiled with entrancement and replied, "Yer mom's box, it's everywhere!".

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Go yer neck

To 'Go Yer Neck' is to trip up and fall arse over tit, common terminology in Scotland

The front stairs are so icy, watch you don't go yer neck!

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Do What Yer Good At

A existential position as a default correction when path uncertainty becomes evident.

So, how's it goin' with the new job search?
>Not so good; at this stage of the game, I've decided that there's limited opportunity to dominate in any given market.

Excellent life lesson: Do What Yer Good At (and just leave it at that).