A condition that occurs only in high school guidance counselors. Those affected will spend hours at grocery stores running tests on eggs looking for the perfect carton. They usually become angry when people suggest they mix and match the eggs.
Dante was about to call the cops on a Shell Shocked counselor in the Quick Stop, but a woman told him not to worry about it, because they always pay for what they break and clean up after themselves
103๐ 81๐
Guy is doing a girl in a pool while standing up in the shallow end, she's facing him with her legs wrapped around him. The guy starts to whistle the National Geographic themesong. Then the guy rams both thumbs into her mouth and forces her mouth open as wide as possible while grabbing her face with his palms. As she tries to recoil, he pulls out his wang and blow his load in the water giving the appearance of a white jellyfish swimming innocently. He then takes her face, as he still has a firm grasp, and forces her face into the water to engulf the white jellyfish. He then finishes whistling the National Geographic theme, if he can stop laughing long enough.
I was banging the ho in the pool and she told me it was the way her old boyfriend did it. So I got pissed and gave her the SHOCK Cousteau. I thought that beotch was gonna drown. It was f*ckin hilarious!........That Bitch!
6๐ 2๐
Dick Shock occurs when your boxer shorts build up static electricity over the course of the day. The boxers, the zipper of your pants, and the head of your penis all align at once and you get a very nasty shock just like when you rub your socks on the carpet and touch a door knob.
Tony was at work all day long and when he finally sat down he winced in pain from the dick shock
6๐ 2๐
A condition seen in the male gender when his testicles physically begin to shrivel up and die, and he is unwilling or unable to make any decisions for himself. This condition occurs when a male's will and drive is overun by a female, and the male sits back and lets it happen.
Foreman: Sorry guys... that was my chick she wants me to come home so we can go to garden world.
Guys: WTF!
Foreman: OMG! something is happening... MY BALLS THEY ARE SHRINKING!!
GUY 1: I KNEW It!! ITS VAGAPHALACTIC SHOCK!!...Hurry hit him with 200cc of Vaginephrine!!
6๐ 2๐
A mixture of leftover Gatorade and vodka.
Backstory and origin (based on a true story):
After playing some ball or having a good work out you head home to shower and change into your party clothes so you can go into town to party. Knowing that you have $14 on your debit card, which will not be enough to get you sloshed. Let alone allow your drunken ass to feast at Taco Bell at 4 a.m.. Therefore you decide to come buzzed. Time is short though, your cheap ass wants to get in before the cover charge and your friends are already halfway there. So what do you do? Take a random bottle of vodka you find in your house and pour it into the unfinished bottle of Gatorade so you can take it with you on the go. Why not just take the bottle of vodka you ask? Because your classier than that. But only a little. After breaking a sweat trying to find a parking spot you quench your thirst and replenish the lost antioxidants with your pre-made concoction as you hurry down the street to the club. Perfectly on time.
The Jock Shock is a very potent and strong mix since usually there is only enough Gatorade to give the vodka a color.
Enjoy responsibly.
"Got anything I can take with me?"
"yeah, grab the Jock Shock"
*Sitting at Applebee's
"Hey man, you drinking Gatorade with that steak?"
...
"yup"
6๐ 2๐
In Star Trek lore the Vulcan hand greeting that equates to human handshaking used in a sexual manner for two in the stink and two in the pink. A spock shock is performed by seperating the middle and ring finger while keeping the index and middle fingers together, as well as the ring and pinky fingers. A more aggressive form of the Shocker
Dude that shit was so gnarly I had to go Spock Shock on that...To wit I announced "Live Long and Shocker" because the needs of the pink do not outweigh the needs of the stink! The crevasse of my hand bridged the Neutral Zone from Heranus to Fluidic Space. Once again the Vulcans are ambassadors of peace!
6๐ 2๐
A person who is always showing off the shocker hand symbol (see shocker) in photo opportunities. Typically photos are in a bar setting or drunken stupor. Typical Shock-off is overweight or juice-head male who has never given and will never give the shocker in real life. (To show shocker hand symbol, open all fingers except clench the ring finger in fist position.)
"Hey look at these pics from last night...oh wait, there's Billy being a Shock-off again...and again...and again."
10๐ 4๐