Beard

One who engages in pedantic, pseudo-intellectual discussion of meaningless and often obscure pop culture that nobody actually cares about. Typically applies to nerdy topics such as video games, comic books, science fiction, and so forth. Refers to the luxurious fat-guy beards grown by internet shutins, a la the Simpsons Comic Book Guy.

Brodie: He's an alien, for Christ sake. His Kyrptonian biological makeup is enhanced by earth's yellow sun. If Lois gets a tan the kid could kick right through her stomach. Only someone like Wonder Woman has a strong enough uterus to carry his kid. The only way he could bang regular chicks is with a kryptonite condom. That would kill him.

Me, watching Mallrats: Christ, Kevin Smith is such a fucking beard.

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Beard

A usually bushy growth of hair on the face of normally (but not always) a man. The effect that is created by the beard, although probably not desired, is that their face looks like a vagina.

"OH MY GOD THERE'S A VAGINA ON THAT GUY'S FACE.. Oh wait, it's just a beard"

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Beard

Beards refer to the typical appearance of scifi nerds, star trek nerds, anime nerds... fat, piggy-eyed, giant, unkept beard, bottle-lens glasses, star trek uniforms, wheezy, asthmatic, etc. So, when someone refers to a beard, they are referring to some form of nerdy discussion, the longer the beard, the more knowledgable the person is typically being.

Check out that guy's beard, I bet he has Lara Croft bedsheets.

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beard-on

The practice of reality TV pseudo-celebs, primarily on the Discovery Channel, using product in their beards to give the appearance of a long, hard, straight beard, resembling the male mammal penile erection in appearance.

Neil: "Did you catch all those beard-ons on Discovery last night?"

Bob: "I know, right? It's like they won't give you a show unless you're a visable douche..."

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beard

The significant other of a person who is gay... BUT they are of the opposite sex. A beard is used to make the world think the gay partner is straight. Sometimes the beard knows they're a beard, and sometimes they're being deceived.

"I didn't want her to think that I was Gay and I was hiding it from her, and that I was using her as like a "beard". 'Cause that's what the whole internet probably thinks!" - Shane Dawson, Coming Out Video.

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Bearding

An act that someone gay does when afraid to come out of the closet. usually this means dating a girl when you like guys just to coverup.

Person: that guys so bearding

**guy walks down hall with girl but checks out a guy**

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IT Beard

A boss ass beard that is grown by I.T professionals

Wow check out that guys IT beard, he must know what the fuck he's doing.