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The mathematical function that describes how you can’t really get all of the shit off your asshole by wiping. It is asymptotic and tends towards 0 as a function of number of wipes, but never quite gets there.
With a bidet, it’s actually possible to clean your asshole completely. Wiping just follows the asshole asymptote.
When your download speed steadily decreases as you near the completion of the download, such that your download will get infinitely close to finishing, but never actually finish.
The program said it'd take about 3 minutes to finish, but thanks to download asymptote it ended up taking 3 hours.
Refers to being in quarantine or self-isolation for an indefinite period of time, and the resulting paranoia and pessimism. Similar to a "Debbie Downer", "Negative Nancy", etc.
Person one: "Is this gonna be forever?"
Person two: "Oh, hush. Quit being such an asymptomatic asymptote."
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When you have a greater stats in the least important category then you do for the most important category within a videogame.
When this is achieved, you have achieved the Gaming Asymptote.
Isaac: For fucks sake my luck stats is greater than my damage stats.
Me: yep, welcome to the fucking Gaming Asymptote.
The philosophy asymptotism is the belief that nothing ever happens or ever will happen. Everyone around you always tells you something huge is going to happen, but nothing ever truly happens.
Different from nihilism which is the belief that nothing matters, asymptotism describes the world as a place of inflated expression. Events which are exclaimed groundbreaking or world-threatening are always made but do not represent reality and often carry heavy assumptions which twist the truth in order to gain attention.
Asymptotism acknowledges that while significant events may occur around you, the vast majority don’t involve or affect you and therefore you shouldn’t worry about them. Asymptotism leads to a way of life that allows you to live calm and unstressed because you know nothing happens or ever will happen.
I saw on the news that the world is about to end, but asymptotism taught me nothing ever happen so I just went back to living my life.
said when one wants to:
1. keep it PG AND
2. say bad ass(-ymptote) AND
3. appear smart
Pre-AP Algebra 2 Teacher: Today we are going to learn about asymptotes.
Class Clown: Can't we listen to some bad asymptote music instead?
Two years later...
AP Calculus Teacher: Today we are covering differentiability. Corners, cusps and breaks are not differentiable.
Student #1: What is she talking about?
Student #2: I don't know. Who cares?
Student #3: Hey, did y'all hear about the bad ass fight in the cafeteria?
Calculus Teacher: Student #3, I did hear about the bad asymptote fight, but if you want to pass the AP Calculus Test so that you don't have to take Calculus in college, I suggest we focus on the fact that corners, cusps, and breaks are not differentiable. And yes, breaks can be asymptotes or holes.
Here's a fun way to remember what a break is: A BREAK-up in a romantic relationship is usually due to a partner being an ASS-ymptote. Use your imaginations with the word HOLES...
The art of hitting an almost empty dab cart and mentally willing it to never reach a level of zero, no matter how empty it looks.
“Yo dude can I rip ur cart?” It’s almost empty but you can try asymptoting it.