single

the one that everyone feels sorry for, but should really envy.

person in relationship: I had such a busy night last night, because I had to help my boyfriend wax his back hair, but it was all worth it because he took me to applebees afterwards. What did you do?
Single person: There was a lot of alcohol involved, and I invited a guy over that turned out to be a total douchebag.
person in relationship: oh no, that sounds awful
single person: yeah, but it was all worth it because he left over a bottle of patron, and I am never returning his phone calls so i can keep it. I love being single.

218👍 82👎

Single

A relationship status that is usually associated with the euphoria of being off your ol' biatch's leash. For men, it means that you can finally hang out with your friends again. For women, it means that you can stop pretending that you don't secretly want Johnny Depp and Orlando Bloom inside of you at the same time.

"Hellz yus I'm single, let's go to a strip joint and stare at some titties!"

or

"Omg Katie, like, I'm single, and like, I just noticed that Brad Pitt is really sexie!"

192👍 73👎

single

Seriously,
I'm
Not
Getting
Laid
Either

Guy #1:Dude, my girlfriend just dumped me, I'm single

Guy #2:So? Seriously, I'm not getting laid either!

106👍 38👎

single

Being single's not that bad hehe

s:stay
i:intoxicated
n:nightly
g:get
l:laid
e:everyday

By : Jeff Foxworthy <hehe>

756👍 363👎

Single

Someone who makes jokes about the other sex.

Guy 1: MaKe Me A sAnDwIcH wOmAn!!!11!!
Girl 1: You're single aren't you...

Girl 1: MEN ARE PIGZ!!11!!1!!!!one!!!1
Guy 1: You're single aren't you...

33👍 10👎

single

A CD that usually has around half the tracks of a normal one.

Why pay full price for half the music? I hate singles and EPs.

338👍 165👎

single

A choice of lifestyle commonly used in order to be free to seek others and hope to find the right relationship that suites you

How can you be single, and we are fucking!!!

Because i have no girl, and you arent mine either!!!

42👍 17👎