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The alarm cock is a hilarious sexual prank. A man waits for a woman to go to sleep and retires to a seperate room to masturbate feverishly. Right before ejaculation he returns to the bedroom to cum right in his girls face. She will wake up during this and her confusion will quickly turn to outrage which will be responded to with a hasty retreat. The alarm cock maneuver has also been referred to as the graveyard glaze and the midnight jack.
The definition for Alarm Cock is self explanitory. If performing the alarm clock maneuver it is important to use catchy one liners before escaping. "You had it coming" or perhaps the Woody the Wood Pecker noise would suffice.
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An unusual form of alarm used to wake one up in the morning,provided by males, usually used on females (some exceptions may apply) that may cause either intense pleasure or discomfort, depending on the user and alarm. Please note that this device does not work when the alarm is under the age of 12 or above the age of 60. One method to remedy this situation for those above the age of 60 may be a little blue pill that can be provided by your local doctor.
Batteries not needed.
there's something wrong with my alarm cock, it's started waking me up later and later nowadays
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The act of purposefully waking up an unsuspecting guest by slapping your genitalia on your chest. Enacted through a "tick cock" metronome like fashion. Otherwise to rouse a partner from their slumber by doing the same thing or prodding them if aforementioned tactic does not accomplish stirring the person awake.
Not to be confused with tea bagging or mushroom printing however sometimes combined. However if you are alone an alarm clock can be denoted through morning wood.
Victim: "why are you slapping your penis on your chest? It's too early for this!"
Perpetrator: "I'm sorry your forgot to set your alarm cock"
"I woke up this morning with a stiffy. It served as an alarm cock"
The alarm clock ran out of batteries so i woke her up with the alarm cock
When you wake up two minutes before your girlfriends alarm clock goes off, masturbate above her face, and when her alarm clock rings and she awakens, you ejaculate all over her face and say "good morning...ALARM COCK!
My boyfriend did an alarm cock on me this morning as I woke up.
The act of waking a person by inserting your hard penis into an orifice.
I woke that bitch up with the alarm cock
I got that fat chick out of my room by giving her the old alarm cock
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Waking up due to the discomfort from your raging morning wood.
Andy: Why are you up so early, Eric?
Eric: I got fucking alarm cocked again, this is the third time this week.
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