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townies have a problem with people who dress different to them, listen to different music or have any other hobbies. they also take the piss out of people of different races or cultures blah blah etc. and are basically complete wastes of time (if you know your kid's gonna be a townie, please, drown him/her at birth.)
they also think they're cool by failing all their schoolwork and talking like dicks .... and then they have a go at kids who're actually smart. Hey townies, they're the ones you'll be packing shopping bags for in the very near future.
Fuck townies - they suck and are sooooo bored that they can't find anything better to do except hang around Alldays. tragic.
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Poem About Townies
whats with these townies where nike shox?
tucking their joggers into their socks,
their mothers were slags and their fathers were jocks,
In their exams, they failed their mocks,
Before they leave school, they'll have babies in flocks,
When their 16, they'll be in wedding frocks,
taking the piss outta greebos in docs,
Walk aroudn in big herds, their fucking cocks!
hehe i made this up ages ago randomly.
i hate townies. kill them all now & save the world! the human race is polluted!
\m/ rock on alternative fashion \m/
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Townies, now that is some blingin' sh*t, yo! Seriously, these bastards shouldn't deserve to live (if you can call the pathetic thing they have a 'life'). Every night I lay awake in bed with a bible in my hand, thinking: 'On what day did the lord create townies, and couldn't he have rested on that day too?' Look in a bus shelter, you may find one, wearing shirts that say 'von dutch' or FCUK or some american city that nobody wants to visit. You can't possibly be a cool townie if you are capable of understanding and using the english language. They are racist pigs, who hate africans, but imitate them in music. Comparing anyone to townies is offensive, so i'm very sorry to all mentioned so far. Oh, and i'm not finished yet.
They listen to generic 'gangsta' 'phat' 'beatz', and are so underground and rebellious that the music they like is one of the most commercial and mass produced/marketed musical styles ever. They also like bob marley despite never listening to him or acknowledging his pacifist message, but whenever they get a chance, they cover all school design projects with ganja leaves, making it cool to be slowly killing themselves. They also manage to make anything into a sex reference.
EG: *actual conversation*
townie 1: Yo man, she iz wel fit, innit!
(points at ugly female townie with face offensive to anyone with eyes)
townie 2: Yo meen da 1 wit' da Burba...bur.. burbar..red cap?
Townie 1: I'd like to wear 'er capyo no wat i meen?
Townie 1: (looks confused,thinks for a minute) ... Yeah man, innit!
What an intellect, eh? Seriously, townies are hard people, if they outnumber you 50 to 1, they will consider attacking you until they realise that they'd rather be doing it with their sister/brother. They also prove how 'ard they are by shouting 'ya mum' at you. they kiss their 'bitches' in public, and have no sense of people looking and thinking: 'what a load of *****s', because theyre cool to their 'cru', so obviously their lives will amount to more than a part time job at mcdonalds drive thru. No, wait...
townie: Wot da f*** lookin at?
Normal person: You
Townie:so u fink ur solid, huh?
normal person: well i'm not a liquid, if that's what you mean...
townie: (to cru) Right, get 'im, innit!
(townies get beaten up)
Townie: Right, i'll get ma (insert family member here) on u
Then, the family member comes, the same thing happens andthey get more and older family members on you. This process is called the aging cycle, and it reapeats itself till they get to the age when most townies die (26)
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Someone who is going no where in life. Someone who grows up in a certain town (Foxboro for Example) and does not leave this town after highschool. A towny does not go to a real college and gets trashed every night. This is the type of person that most likly in the future will beat their townie wives, and have kids that also become townies
Scene: ten year High school reunion
"Wow Tyler, whatchya doin now?"asks Jon
"Well i still live at home" Tyler Replys
"Did you go to school?"
"No."
"Got a wife or kids?" Jon Asks
"Yah, im married to Katie"
"Oh god you are one big Townie family huh?"
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A townie is an English word for a person who:
1. Uses the phrase "Ya Mum" as an insult
2. Thinks that it is cool/hard to use various words beginning with F and S
3. Listens to "Phat Beats" - Blazin Squad, So Solid Crew, Jay-Z (or whatever) etc.
4. Drives a Car such as a Vauxhall Nova or Ford Escort or similar which has A body kit, lowerred suspension, large exhaust, and a huge Subwoofer in the boot to make sure that everyone can hear their "Phat Beats"
5. Has a stupid nickname such as "Jubba" or "Staples"
6. Steals mobile phones
7. Wears "Bling Threads"
8. Walks in a stupid, exaggerated way
9. Has a fundamental disability to pronounce the letter "H"
10. Smokes all the time whilst doing the above
11. Is challenged by a lack of immagination
12. Has a Helly Hansen "Puffer Jacket"
13. Has gelled blonde (dyed) hair
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All the morons on here like Psycho Bitch don't seem to realise that townies victimise those who don't share their Neanderthal way of life.They always bully metallers because of their musical taste and dress sense. For that person who said that moshers and skaters think they are better:Get your head out of your arse. They don't think they're better, they have just had enough of townie fuckwits picking on them, and so they should be. I can't stand all those stupid words like 'Blud', 'Innit' and 'Blingin'. Talking like some kind of rainforest ape. The girls dress like prostitutes and they act like them, and the males like their customers. They drive shit cars, drink horrible shit cider, flash their dicks at 70 year old women in the hope of pulling, and model themselves on gangsters and pimps (Who are low-life scum so its no surprise). I fucking hate townies and i pray to the gods that they have all been wiped out within the next few years
Yeh Blud, Innit Blud, I bang my 12 year old sister Blud, let me bum a tab off u (fucking wank stain).
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adjective: retards who cant afford good clothes so they buy cheap plastic clothes and jewellery. Often seen riding small bikes because they cant afford anything better. Think they are superior because of their lack of intelligence or balls.
Townies can be recognised by their lack of intelligence, monkey like walk, godawful baseball caps and having their tracksuit trousers tucked into their socks like some musketeer
Subtype Micro pikey Midgets who start on people but get beaten up so they threaten to get their monkey cousin on them.
Alex Penrice: A retarded townie with a brain the size of his nonexistent balls. Pre evolution example of the orangutang
Entire Penrice vocab
(only said when asked questions or insulted) Errrmmmm
Batty
Geek
If approached by one dont worry its completely harmless
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