YER MAW

Common expression used in the Glasgow area about a persons mother.This expression is used when you have no comeback to what has been said to you.

Kieran : YOU HAVE A WEE COCK AND NO PUBIC HAIR. YOUR GENETAL PROJECTORY IS INFECTED.

CRAIG : YER MAW.

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Yer Maw

Your mother:
Scottish adoption of the American insult, i.e. "Yo'mama so fat, Ben Kenobi said, 'Dang! That's no moon.'" Interestingly used in the film Terminator when Lt Traxler responds to Dt. Vuckovich's comment that he 'looks like shit' by simply saying "Yo' mama." The rest of the insult being implied.
Traditionally, during a conversational piece, a lot of Scots will leave the implication to the imagination of the receiver. Thus, many delivered insults are not acknowledged until such times as the receiver recounts what he/she just said or the methadone wears off. On average, many of the sharper Scots will respond with "No, No. That's your Maw that is." Which is a tip-of-the-hat to the popular Baddiel and Skinner sketch.

"It's a bit wet and windy out there."
"Yer Maw!!!"

"I was nearly late for work t'day. God it was tight."
"Yer Maw!!"

"You're shite at that!"
"That's not what yer Maw said last night, when I climbed aff her!"

"You finished with that Kit-Kat?"
"Yeah, I couldn't take another two fingers."
"Mwaaaaa! Yer Maaaw !!"

"It's heavy"
"Yer Maw!"

"The instructions say, 'twist off cap and push up bottom' "
"Har, har. Yer Maw !!"

"Is the weapon cocked?"
"Yer Maw!!"

"It needs serviced."
"Yer Maw!!"

"There was something I was going to do but I've forgotten."
"Yer maw"
...and so on, etc.

In effect, it can be uselessly tagged on to anything, anybody says.

"Butter?"
"Yer Maw!"

"It's sore."
"Once again -for those who missed it earlier- Yer Maaaaw !!"

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Smell yer maw

Often used as a comeback to yer wanker of a pal.

Can be used to take the cunt oot yer pals maw cause she’s an awl bitch who needs kicked aboot.

Dave: Hawl Jimmy, you’re such a queer wee mongo!
Jimmy: Smell yer maw ya fuckin gypsy

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yer maw's a junkie

a commonly used insult among scottish gang members utilised to instigate an aggressive response from a rival youth.

'haw you ya bawbag.. yer maw's a junkie.'

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Pump Yer Maw

An insulting phrase used in glasgow, quite possibly in other scottish cities too.

Pump: verb. To have sexual intercourse.
Yer Maw: noun. A slang way of referring to another person's mother.
Pump Yer Maw: To have sexual intercourse with another person's mother.

Past tense:
"Awwww mate, ah pumped yer maw last nite"

Present tense:
"Awwww mate, am pumpin yer maw right now"
(possibly talking on the phone)

Future:
"Awwww mate, am gonnae pump yer maw the nite"

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Yer Maw's Baws

1. As In, 'Yer Maw' (Your mother) has 'baws' (balls). Insult towards someones mother

2. Stating that in no way is one doing a task

1. Aye, yer maw's got baws ya tit!

2. Pish, yer maw's baws am doin that tosh!

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Smell yer Maw

1. Catchphrase adopted by the Quebec Top Shaggers

Jim's the definition of a VL ......Jim replies "SMELL YER MAW"

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