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It's pretty much a romance book with really graphic sex scenes, so men like to look at porn, women like to read it .
" If only you knew the books I read , total mummy book porn "
When you wrap a girl in bed sheets and fuck her mouth while she makes mummy sounds.
Hey man, my girlfriend and I tried the mummy and afterwards she threw up for almost 3 hours!
When a man wraps another man or woman in plastic wrap waits for a min then pops a breather hole where the mouth is and the puts a hole where the ass hole is and then fucks him out her in the ass
My lover wanted me to do the mummy to her/him
When you poop is someones bathtub during a party. You wrap the feces in toilet paper and have to dispose of it in their garbage disposal during the party and get rid of it with out anyone noticing.
I was pooping in the bath tub. I then wrapped the mummy up and tried to sneak it past everyone at a party. They kept complaining of the smell and I blamed it on I stepped in crap. I then had to sprint to the garbage disposal and shoved my shame into the disposal unit only to find it inoperative. Most awkward party ever.
When breasts are enlarged due to milk production during pregnancy.
“My girlfriend is pregnant”
Drage: “corr, send us a pic of those milky mummy tits”
A sex act where one partner dries out their tongue and then gives oral to their partner.
Partner 1: Babe, my tongue is dry.
Partner 2: Ooh you should give me the hot mummy.
Aspires to be that kind of young, trendy, active mother on social media, but fails horrifically in all regards. Their regular posts, largely shared from other sources, include how all models are actually ugly without PhotoShop, prize competitions to win holidays to Ibiza, scare stories about people giving out Halloween candy that's secretly drugs and conspiracy theories about Madeleine McCann, as well as horror stories contributed by other Scummy Mummies of things to happen to their children, with captions such as 'If sum1 did that to my wee Beyonce I'd flippin rek them, hnnnnng.'
A typical scummy mummy will spend several hours a day applying make-up, before posting to Facebook that real men like real women and not fake ones like Kate Upton.