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Offspring Paradox

Offspring can be disturbingly illogical, yet profoundly fulfilling. You should anticipate paradox.

Huda: Oh man, I'd hate to bring a child into this world of nonsense, but I feel like I need it.
Mackan: And that's what you call *clears throat* an Offspring Paradox.

by tigerlxlly September 7, 2020


The Grandfather Paradox

The best Catch-22 of them all: What if your grandfather was a truly horrific person and you were forced to go back in time and kill him before he could do those bad things. But, if you succeed and your grandmother hasn’t been impregnated with your dad or mum yet, you would not be born, and if you weren’t born, nobody killed your grandfather and well… you know where this is going.

Person 1: “Yo, what’s your favourite paradox?”
Person 2: “It’s The Grandfather Paradox. Such a fascin-.”
Person 1: “Fuck off, it’s so overrated.”

by YellowBinLorry May 24, 2023


Sathyaprabha’s paradox

When choosing to respect other’s choice to disrespect other’s choice is against respecting everybody’s choice.

Today my friend cited Sathyaprabha’s paradox to defend her thesis.

by prandtlstokes November 5, 2021


Coffee Paradox

When you haven't had any coffee so you don't have the cognitive ability to make coffee.

Person 1, "Dude why is Person 2 standing there drooling in front of the coffee machine?"

Person 3, "They're suffering from the coffee paradox."
Person 2, *drools*

by YouLikeTheWayIPostitRex March 6, 2019


The Mom Paradox

When you struggle with something and call for help, and the other person solves the problem by just existing and you look like an idiot.

You can't find your favorite shirt after an hour of looking and your mom finds it in your closet in 5 seconds? Mom Paradox.

Your computer keeps crashing but when you call IT everything works like new? Mom Paradox.

Kid: "Mom the TV isn't turning on something is wrong"
Mom: *presses the ON button on the TV and it works just find* "What's the problem?"
Kid: "The Mom Paradox"
Mom: *proceeds to beat the kid*

by Guulagg February 22, 2022


Average Paradox

The paradox of the average not knowing that they're average, meaning that if someone knows that they're average, it makes them not average.

John: Man, I'm so smart; I'm aware that I'm average
Paul: Well, if you know you're average then you're not average. Look up the average paradox.

by Java-man50050 October 21, 2020


Smile Paradox

A stupid mistake

Ughh Smile Paradox is a stupid mistake

Ehhh Jake you are a Smile Paradox

by Smile Paradox January 17, 2021