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Chavs are the Burberry-obsessed, sports-gear wearing, poor spelling teenage - middle-aged scum of the nation.
Chavs cannot, and will not be seen with less than 3 kilos of cheap, plastic jewellery, probably bought or stolen from Argos, Index, some other catalog company, or the 20 pence vending machines designed for five year olds.
Chavs like hurling insults at anything that moves, and pick fights with anyone and anything. Anyone not wearing some Chav brand is automatically "Gawrth" (which, translates to 'Goth').
Chavs usually like smoking cigarettes or weed, and drinking vodka or cider. They hang around by "Maccy D'zzz" (McDonalds), or "Beee xXx Kaii" (Burger King). They usually go to cinemas or shopping centres on weekends, or school holidays. At the cinemas, they must watch a sequel to a film, while texting a friend or throwing popcorn at people.
Chavs usually think it's cool to spend money on crappy, fake items. One chav said, and I quote: "yeh well all u stoopid emos fink chavs r cheep, i js spent 40 quid on a burbery cap soo stfu". (This cap, was fake.)
Chavs enjoy grafitti-ing too. Usually in bathroom stalls, scribbles of "Jess wuz yer 2kaii6" or "Lulu 2k7" can be found all over Britain.
Hmm... what else to say? You get the idea.
"yh wel chavs lyke roolz, dun tey? "
^. A typical chav's vocabulary.
"Errr ghey mingarrr!!"
^. A typical chav's favourite insult.
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There are people in the world who think that the label "Chav" is classist, and refers to those who are working class. However, once and for all, it does not. "Chav" in fact refers to those who have absolutely no respect for anything at all, though in fact demand to be respected all the same. They can be found spitting on the streets; they can be found sitting in bus shelters cadging a smoke off other people; they can be found in courtrooms everywhere for street crimes. They will happily attack anyone who so much as looks at them (Ex. 1), all the while hurling abuse at people who are differently dressed/significantly older/significantly younger/in a smaller group. They somehow eke amusement out of destroying that which has been created by others, including bus shelters and spraying graffiti over fresh paint. They refuse to accept any responsibility for anything, ever, and if they find themselves in a tight spot in life, it is always someone else's fault. (Ex. 2.) They also have a tendency to sponge off the state. For example, somewhere in not-so-Great Britain there is a family who have literally 12 children. Nobody in the family works, and because of the system the children allow the parents to claim £44,000 a year in benefits. That's close to £4000 a month (I myself work, and earn around £600), and the parents then go on to claim that they can't stop having kids "because they cannot afford condoms". They receive £4K a month and they can't spare a tenner for some johnnies?
All in all, chavs are indeed the scourge of Britain and I would urge the politicians of Britain to realise that hoodies don't need a hug, they need a lengthy prison sentence and good rehabilitation to make sure they don't reoffend.
And a swift kick up the arse wouldn't go amiss either.
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Person: <glances up at chav so that he or she may avoid walking into them.>
Chav: Wot u lookin at m8? <Attacks person>
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Far be it from me to talk about myself while defining something, but I once had a conversation with a chav who said that she failed in school because she talked in class, and she said that it was her teacher's fault for not being able to shut her up.
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The Chav, commonly mistaken for a human being.
It is actually a sub species that is thought to have strong links to neanderthilic culture. Indeed, the basic desires for sex, loud things, fighting and fast things are all common between the two.
There are two main breeds of chav. The female, more cunning, of the species sometimes called a Chavette. Scientific name being Chavettus Femiminine. The current technical term for such an entity, is Slut. Normally known to lose their "V"'s or Virginity before reaching full sexual maturity, they ensure that the chav race does not dye out by producing many offspring each year. They seem to have a natural affinity towards Nike Air Max and Burberry check. Both normally fake, this is assumed to be a more modern attempt at tribal markings. In this way, the Chav tribes can recognise each other in the frequent fights. They do infact posess some intelligence in the form of breeding rapidly and young so as to abuse the benefits system for as long as possible. Common drinks of the Chavette include Lambrini and other cheap alcoholic beverages.
The other type of Chav to be looked at here is the Male breed of chav. These are by far the most common of the species and are the "Hunter Gatherer" types of each tribe.
Their Hunting being the art of scouting out shops in the area and then Gathering the items for no material cost. Shoplifting could almost be considered a holy activity of the chav. The clothing is much the same to the Chav female, and often accompanied by an ear ring and cap at a jaunty angle. The drinks are the same but they often drink Stella Artois beer, being both cheap and effective at stirring up drunken brawls.
Chav culture, if it can be called that, mostly involves the consumption of alcohol and ciggarettes, and then fighting in drug and booze fuelled rampages that can last for hours. A hunt involves a large group of chav males and females going out and preying on people who are often on their lonesome. Most commonly, Moshers, Emos, Goths and other such social groups who unlike chavs, have developed braincells. Not always applicable in the case of the Emos.
Recently having received internet from whatever council provides them with a roof over their heads. Chavs have found their way onto the elusive internet and discovered social networking websites. Commonly frequented ones are Piczo, MySpace and Bebo. Piczo and Bebo have become almost fully "Chavenised" (Can be compared to Galvanised, the chav forms a protective layer over what was once good and pure.) Some have even discovered websites which give them HTML codes for their MySpace. This was previously unheard of, as Chav's are unable to comprehend their first language. Yet alone use a programming language!
Chavs also seem to have their own language which is documented worldwide on various internet websites. This is normally monosyllabic, although exceptions to occur. "Wanker" is two syllables yet they seem to have an adequate knowledge of its usage. It is suspected it is a variation on Neanderthilic culture, creating words where necessary to ensure only they can understand their language.
All in all, the Chav is to be viewed as a social menace and their stature within the country not very high. It is suspected that soon the Hunting Ban in england shall be amended to permit the killing of Chavs to rid us of this social menace. For the meantimes, gather up your holy water and Silver Crosses. Or if you are realistic, grab a handful of pennies, throw them in the other direction, the Chav's will run to the money in hope of a warm dinner.
Chav - Council House And Violent
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A chav is some-one who thinks their hard but they're really not. Listens to all that dj cammy shit (the chipmonk whos balls are still cemented to his stomach) which isnt even music, its just one crappy beat with 9 songs mixed into it. They listen to this on their shitty stolen samsung D500 which they stole off of they're nan most probably. They walk swaying their arms like a chimp, in groups of about 5 preying on innocent OAP'sm mugging them for a bag of chips, a bus ticket home and some shaaving fome. Their main greeting is 'shit boh' oh 'yes blod' and they have their own means of communication. They all have more greese on their faces than a mcdonalds fryer, wear white nike Tn tracksuits which are too big, wear matching hats, white Tn shox and fake 'tommy hilfinger' boxers. They all ride ridiculously small mini motos which should be blown up, with the chav on it.
a chavs conversation
'shit boh, what u been up to blod' said big dave
'not much yeah, got some dj cammy on ma mums phone now' replied lil jon
'lets have a listen' asked big dave. they listened to the shit.
'ahhh thats well good mush, gotta bang that outter ma dads vectra sum time'
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CHAV = Counsil House Associated Vermin
your basic chav is usually 15-18 but can however, progress into early 20s before realising what idiots they have been and what they have do to screw up their life for ever.
chavs are easily recognised, they hang around on street corners, smoking cheap ciggarettes and wearing fake sportswear.
the usual chav speaks in a language that normal people can't understand without a translator. the chav language's sentances will always start with "yerr bruvv" and end with "innit".
the female form of a chav goes by the name of chavette. these girls are usually between the ages of 10-13 and instead of finding a chav their age to mate with, they settle for one which is 2-3 years older. chavettes will usually produce more than 5 baby chavs who will live only with the chavette, as the father chav is in prison.
now you have the infomation you need, go now. and avoid this species of human.
Chavs are idiots who need to grow up.
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A cancerous polyp on the metaphorical anus of the UK.
Males usually in tracksuits and baseball caps, legs of the same said tracksuits tucked into the socks. The speculation is that it reduces "drag" when running away from the police.
Females can be observed herding many children, rarely the offspring will know who their father is or even have the same one.
The proper arena for proof of paternity for the chav is the Jeremy Kyle show as long as the chav makes sure on the day that they have greasy hair, a vile attitude and less than ten teeth.
The female of the species most commonly wear giant hoop earrings which can be seen from low earth orbiting spacecraft. The Essex facelift hairstyle is preferred, the hair pulled so tightly back from the face that the smallest facial expression becomes impossible.
Lots of gold tinted jewellery is a must have accessory. Argos is the desired outlet for these tawdry baubles of chav office, the more gaudy the "bling" as it is known, the higher the chav ranking.
The male example of a chav will be comfiest when with 10 or more of his kind, usually loitering outside corner shops and fast food outlets spitting and drinking cans of Fosters or Carling, verbally abusing passers by.
But only when with his brethren do we see the cocky attitude and foul mouth of the chav. That is of course if you can actually understand what he is saying as to the rest of humanity it sounds like the grunting and squawking of pigs being tortured to death.
Imchavinitblud
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A chav is a kind of wanker who destroys the United Kingdom most chavs are on the dole or steal and sell knocked off gear.
The most common place to find chavs are on a social networking site by the name of bebo. The main place you see a chav is lurking around at your nearest corner shop or even on the high street or McDonalds (Chavs are known to call McDonalds Mcey Ds and why cause there retarded). Chav are also known to be scared of classic music as stores play it to keep the chavs out. Chavs are that retarded as if there chav mate walks into a store with classic music playing they take it as they like that style of music which ends up kicking them out of the pack.
To know what a chav looks like they are covered in Jewellery or even Cheap Jewellery which was stolen from there last victim they last took out. Chavs also look common and continently frown just to make them self look hard.
A chavette which is a girl chav is most likely to have a baby at the age of 14 as they will date anyone as they come across like some cheap hoe. Still chavette are a bit like the male species of a chav they are common and try to look hard
Chavs hunt around in packs like wolfs searching for there next victim. Looking at a chav even just glancing they will take it very serious as this is one of the most common sayings from chav getting ready to fight "YER FUCKIN STARTIN ON ME KNOBHEAD!!????!!!!".
A chav is also known to make some of the most pathetic and retarded style of language here is some examples Innit/Ennit , Blud, Mint, Brap/Prap, Bruv.
The music chavs listen most commonly is rave which they do play on the back on any bus with there mobile phone trying to get the attention of old women and to make them self look more cool and hard. Chavs also drive around in some cheap banger with a shit load of crap adding to the car driving around listen to rave throughout the day and night.
Chavs also tuck on there socks into there trousers which just makes them feel harder but this just makes them look more retarded. A chav seem to wear Burberry but it's not just that they even do wear matching tracksuits but you can also tell a chav because there common accent.
A great example of this is model Jordan and also internet scum bag by the name of
Devvo, The Catherine Tate Show does a skit of a chav called Lauren Cooper, not forgetting Vicky Pollard from the show Little Britain which sums it all up what the chav is.
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