ain't no such things as halfway crooks

the motto of Saudi Arabia

saudi police: I see you just stole a piece of bread, I'm gonna have to cut off your hand for that

thief: That's not fair, it was only a piece of bread!

saudi police: Sorry baby, ain't no such things as halfway crooks *slashes hand off with le epic curved sword*

8👍 6👎

Hit a straight lick with a crooked stick

Overcoming incredible difficulties and doing remarkable things.

Ex: When a kid grows up in a bad situation without any guidance, but somehow rises above it and has a successful life; that kid hit a straight lick with a crooked stick.

Wally holly nil crookes

Definition: the most beautiful person I have ever seen, she is extremely entertaining (especially when u sit next to her in maths) and never fails to make you laugh. She is the most honest person you will ever meet and you are so thankful to have her in your life. She is the best friend anyone would be extremely luck to have.

Woah that’s wally holly nil crookes she’s extremely awesome at spinning on poles outside food tech!

1👍 1👎

Stacked like a crooked card game

1. when the Odds are against your favor
2. Rigged
3. A women with huge breasts.

Paul: "So did you win the Lotto?"
Brandon " nah that shits stacked like a crooked card game

Wayne:"Did you see the tits on that one?"
Brandon: Damn, she is stacked like a crooked card game!"

5👍 3👎

The Crooked Cousin Cock Grab

When you get a surprise handjob from your lesbian cousin.

Fuck man I feel gross. I was walking by then bam, she gave me The Crooked Cousin Cock Grab.

1👍 3👎

Crooked Toe Becky

Crooked Toe Becky is a girl or woman with crooked toes or bad feet.

Crooked Toe Becky sings beautiful but she shouldn't use sandals showing her crooked toes.

1👍 25👎

mother fuckin' titty suckin' two ball bitch with flat granny boobs, face full of testicles, a ping pong pussy and a 2 inch crooked rubber dick with no balls or hair

a long fuckin burn that schools the shit out of any dis you get.

Bully: "Hey gimme some money lil bitch."

little bitch: "No u give ME some money ya mother fuckin' titty suckin' two ball bitch with flat granny boobs, face full of testicles, a ping pong pussy and a 2 inch crooked rubber dick with no balls or hair."

mother fuckin' titty suckin' two ball bitch with flat granny boobs, face full of testicles, a ping pong pussy and a 2 inch crooked rubber dick with no balls or hair:
"Shut up. JUST SHUT UP. (runs away crying)"

101👍 45👎