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A strange and out-of-control hairstyle which has literally taken on a life of its own. Results from too long without having a haircut, characterized by unsettling feeling overcoming bystanders. A Black Swan Problem may or may not have the ability to exercise mind control over the "wearer" and invariably causes a vacant and confused look in the eyes. Although difficult to describe, one is immediately aware when they are in the presence of a Black Swan Problem.
Wow Barge, I realize I haven't seen you in a while, but that is some Black Swan Problem you are rockin.
Jesus, if you know what is good for all of us, you will get that Black Swan Problem tamed before it achieves world domination!
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(n.) a device which allows you to render an object invisible if no one expects it to be there, as seen in the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
"An SEP," he said, "is something that we can't see, or don't see, or our brain doesn't let us see, because we think that it's somebody else's problem. That's what SEP means. Somebody Else's Problem. The brain just edits it out, it's like a blind spot. If you look at it directly you won't see it unless you know precisely what it is. Your only hope is to catch it by surprise out of the corner of your eye."
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As defined by the great Louis CK in his concert film "Hilarious", these problems affect Americans in the middle to upper class. This is when your life is so amazing, that you make shit up to be upset about.
"Why do I have to choose a language on the ATM machine? This is bullshit, I shouldn't have to do that!"
This is in sharp contrast to real problems, experienced by people in other countries.
My English professor didn't truly grasp the depth of my thesis statement! ...By the way I know this doesn't matter at all, I'm just telling you my white people problems.
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problem of giving blowjobs too easily to too many guys
Amy has a major Dick Sucking Problem. She blows me and my boys all the time for free. It's fucking great!
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1.) A constant feeling that the noise of one's pee stream hitting the water produces a less manly noise than those of his fellow bathroom guests...suggesting that he has an inadequate sized dong.
2.) A sign that your prostate may in fact be creeping its way up the weinershaft. If your pee-noise suddenly becomes less manly, talk to a doctor.
Man one: **loud and thunderious pee noise**
Man one's thoughts: Thank god I don't have the pee-noise problem
Man two: **high pitched pee noise"
Man two's thoughts: Does this mean I got a small dick? Maybe he just has a small dick hole... why do I have a small dick hole? Do small dick holes mean small dicks? HOW SMALL IS TOO SMALL FOR A HOLE TO BE THE SMALL HOLE OF A SMALL DICK!!?????
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A problem that a person whose income percentile is in the top 1% of a wealthy, industrialized country's income experiences that people in the 99% would probably roll their eyes at.
(This term is a continued division of the term "First World Problem.")
Which iPad 3 should I buy for my dog, the white or black one? I know this is a One Percenter Problem, but I'll just get both.
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The US Navy's version of white girl problems. A shore duty problem is only a problem because you work in an office building at a slack-ass fleet support job, and life is good. Shore duty problems are commonly experienced by sailors who have not been assigned to a ship in a long time, and consequently have their threshold for flipping their shit grossly miscalibrated. Those who have spent some time on sea duty know what actual problems are, and are much less likely to go ape-shit over such trivial annoyances.
Shore duty problems may include:
-"Powerpoint froze before I saved my work and now I have to reopen it and spend 10 minutes entering this data all over again! AAAAAAAGH! I'm going to bludgeon everyone in this fucking office to death with my three-hole punch!"
-"We're not allowed to watch YouTube videos at work anymore?! GRRRAAAAGH! This is worse than being raped in the mouth! I'm going to break my keyboard in half and then strangle your children with my mouse cord!"
In comparison to common sea duty problems, which are actually worth freaking out over:
-"Toxic hydrogen sulfide gas is leaking into my berthing."
-"The sewage system is broken and I am covered in liquified human excrement while trying to fix it."
-"I am literally on fire/being electrocuted/getting shot at by Somali pirates right now."
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