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A throw-away joke from a Family Guy episode (Episode 16 Season 4)
"Hmm, Florida. Just think somewhere in this state right now, Jeb Bush is eating a live puppy."- Stewie
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Sex with a woman is always preferable to jerking off
You coming to the party? There's going to be lots of trim.
Nah, gonna stay in and jerk off.
C'mon, dude, a dick in the bush is worth two in the hand.
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Referring to the fact that when you're out drinking with your friends, it is twice as hilarious to see someone puke in their hands (preferrably so everyone can see) as it is when said person makes it out of sight to puke (like behind a bush).
That was embarrassing the way you puked in your hands at the bar last night, but you know what they say, a puke in the hand is worth two in the bush.
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A question, more of a statement however, that suggests one is scared or intimidated...there for "hiding" in the pretend "bushes". Normally one should be slightly intoxicated to say this, because bushes is actually pronounced BOOSHES. Use this with caution, as people can get offended from basically calling them wimps.
Courtney: "Hey Chels, Why you hidin' in them Bushes?!?!"
Chelsie: "Lol, what?! You're drunk!"
Hunter: "CHELSIE, YOU RUIN EVERYTHING! I HAD THAT SPOT WARM AND YOU TOTALLY SAT ON IT! GOD!!!"
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A pretty good joke. A man more infamous for anti-intellectualism than anyone in history having a library for a memorial is pretty goddamn funny.
Welcome to the George W. Bush Presidential Library, please leave your books at the door.…yeah right there, in that burning pile.
/ignore this Google Bomb:
George W. Bush Presidential Library George W. Bush Presidential Library George W. Bush Presidential Library George W. Bush Presidential Library George W. Bush Presidential Library George W. Bush Presidential Library George W. Bush Presidential Library George W. Bush Presidential Library George W. Bush Presidential Library George W. Bush Presidential Library George W. Bush Presidential Library George W. Bush Presidential Library George W. Bush Presidential Library George W. Bush Presidential Library George W. Bush Presidential Library George W. Bush Presidential Library George W. Bush Presidential Library George W. Bush Presidential Library George W. Bush Presidential Library George W. Bush Presidential Library George W. Bush Presidential Library George W. Bush Presidential Library George W. Bush Presidential Library George W. Bush Presidential Library George W. Bush Presidential Library
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The Japanese fire-bush crab sandwich is foreplay involving a Japanese girl with a large crab-filled bush.
Proceed to get a lighter and light the Japanese’s girl bush on fire, immediately extinguishing the flame in order to prevent burns. Scrap the burnt pubic hair off the Japanese girl onto a sandwich, preferably a sandwich with true authentic Japanese meat, such as sushi and teriyaki. Complete the Japanese Fire-Bush Crab Sandwich by force feeding the Japanese girl your signature dish, ensuring that every last crab pube is now ingested in the depths of the Japanese girl’s once Fire-Bush Crab Sandwich free stomach.
Chuck Norris used his laser eyes on Suka Dik’s pubic hair and proceeded to karate chop the burnt hair off onto the freshly toasted sandwich. Suka Dik munched up that Japanese Fire-Bush Crab Sandwich like she was Ghandi.
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This expression shows the benefits of masterbation over intercourse by saying a bird (your penis) is better in your hand than having both your penises in a bush (vagina).
Women are sometimes not worth the hassle, headache or monitary cost to keep around, despite giving you sex.
Rob: Y'know, Greg, my girlfriend wanted another $20 from me this morning.
Greg: Oh yeah? What for?
Rob: I don't know, she wouldn't tell me. I bet she's cheating on me.
Greg: Why do you think that?
Rob: Well she borrows money from me all the time, and I'm stupid and jump to conclusions.
Greg: Well, my dad always told me that a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.
Rob: You're right.
/corny story
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