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A day (twice each calendar year) when a man with erectile dysfunction cannot achieve an erection even with the use of Viagra.
Wife: Dear, I feel like cuddling. Why don't you take a Viagra?
Husband: It's no use Sweetheart. Today's the boner equinox, I'm done.
Wife: Alright then, I'm going to Bingo with the girls.
boner solstice
When you get turned on so fast that your dick gets hard quicker than it can rearrange itself in your pants. Usually requires manual adjustment and is accompanied by drool and the inability to make rational decisions as lack of blood leaves your brain in a stupor.
Friend: “yo! Dude! Fix yourself! You got an insta-boner.”
Me: *babbles incoherently*
Friend: “Emily walked by, didn’t she?”
Me: “random jibberish* *fixes junk*
When you get hard instantly. There us no gradual hardening. Instantaneous hardening. (usually rips pants)
Dude! She was so hot she gave me an insta-boner!
Pot so good, it's better than sex.
Man, that was some awesome boner dope.
The immense clarity of life and often immediate regret one feels after blowing a load.
The feeling I got after fucking my buddies mom, can only be described as "Boner Sober".
When your girls reaches over a 40 oz at a picnic to tickle you with a kung fu Latin queen crip grip to your kidneys creating a ripple sensation to your body resulting in a unique laughter while simultaneously growing a strange boner
After the fishing trip my girlfriend used her patented picnic tickle boner hold on me and I had to run for cover to hide it