Wank cannon

A person(s) who literally fires there seaman a large distance.
i.e. hitting your hair, shoulder or over your head and splatting it on every-day items.

Jack: Where did it go?
Sally: I can't find it!
Jack: Oh, its on the curtains.
Sally: Wow! You're a real wank cannon Jack.

Terror Wank

To wank under extreme horror or terror, usually under extreme, life or death circumstances as a last attempt at pleasure. Characterized by furious masturbation accompanied by screams and shouts.

Captain Bob: "Attention passengers, fasten all safety belts-we are heading for a crash landing."
Terrified passenger: "Time for a terror wank..." *Fap fap fap*

Pan wanking

When cooking, you shake the pan backwards and forwards to stir or shake the contents without the use of a utensil.

Mostly done by chefs

"need a spoon?"
"no thanks, i'm happy pan wanking."

Fatty wank

Artwork or photographs of BBW or SSBBW that men will jerk off to. A phrase coined by an artist called Krampuskind.

John went down to the pr0n shop to buy some fatty wank.

armitage wanks

going for a wank in the toilet,

you were in there a long time, were you having an armitage wanks

wank up

Wank up is the art of wanking yourself awake first thing in the morning.

Dude I need to wank up before I get out of bed

Not Worth a Wank

To describe a situation or occasion beneath ones-self, comparable to being beneath ones lowest level of masturbation.

An act that does not live up to expectation

John: Hey bill, have you seen that new horror movie, ya know the one that's really sick?

Bill: Yeah Ive seen it and trust me its 'not worth a wank'