Random
Source Code
Random
1. The act of automatically assuming that a person is an ignorant, obnoxious douchebag, just because he's a white American Male. Closely associated with reverse-racism and general xenophobia, but is most often perpetuated by over-politically-correct "open-minded" white hipster girls with no marketable skills but a shitload of opinions from their community college elective courses.
2. The act of twisting or otherwise misconstruing a white American male's words to comfortably pigeonhole him into a preconceived douchebag mold.
1. A white amercian male, Upon approaching a group of average african-americans at the bar, "Hey gentleman, how are we tonight?"
Followed by the ubiquitous "MmmHmm" and other familiar dismissals.
"Ohhhhh....I get it, cause I'm white you assume I'm an ignorant, obnoxious douchebag racist. That's kind of racist in itself, don't you think? you do know I went to public schools right? Don't douche-lump me."
2. A white american male, upon approaching a group of hipster girls "Hello, you girls are looking very nice tonight, how are things going?" or something to that effect.
Responded to with "eww no thanks, bruh, take your chauvinist misogynistic racist homophobic right wing conservative pro-life thirsty ass elsewhere, we don't live to have our looks judged by your prototypical male standards, blah blah blah."
"Whoa Whoa Whoa...okay, okay, I get it...cause I don't wear skinny jeans, have gauged ears and a man-bun i must be a douche. How about you worthless dumb american girls who couldn't cook an egg start thinking for yourselves and actually contribute to society instead of working at a super-cool piercing salon and regurgitating mindless activist crap you read on your favorite blog this morning? Quit douche-lumping me."
3. White american male "That bartender cut me off, how gay is that?."
White hipster girl "oh my god you said gay, blah blah" sneers and ugly looks.
"Yeah yeah, it's 2015, not 1995, I know. Shut the fuck up, quit douche-lumping me."
Someone who has to tell everyone about who just died.
- Hey dude, Jerry Lewis died. I can't believe it. So sad.
- you are such a death douche. You're not upset that he died, you just wanted to be the first to let me know.
A dishonest, unprincipled person, prone to being obnoxious, loud, contemptible, and generally unlikable; a person who is extremely unpredictable and always detestable. A rogue douche.
Expect and prepare for the worst, cuz this rogue douche could go anywhere, any direction.
When you eat too many salt and vinegar chips and your mouth is raw and sour.
I ate a whole bag of salt and vinegar chips and ended up with douche mouth.
A tow truck operator who thinks he knows everything but is actually an incompetent know it all idiot
Got my car towed last night, tow guy damaged my bumper.. what a fucking tow douche!
A karen who goes to a restaurant and asks for gluten free options
*ticket machine ringing*
Ticket says GF
Chef B: Oh fuck you, gluten douche!
a. Someone speaking in the native tongue of douche.
b. Someone associated with Lander & Lander & Douche.
c. Someone fitting the description of male being used a hygienic tool or just as a tool.
Hey there's Mary and her douche lander of the week. Yeah she used like a condom and threw him away.