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The only day in which it is justified to be a narcissist
Friend (But not really): Happy Birthday!
You: Bitch
Friend (But not really):Love you!
5👍 3👎
The day you come out of your mother's vagina, and where each year on your birthday, your is 1+, unlike the pretty vampires who do not age anymore, completely frozen.
Girl: Happy Birthday sister!
Alice Cullen: Happy Birthday Bella!
Bella: No way! I stopped aging 3 days ago!
12👍 15👎
A day that I I arrived at school at EXACTLY 7:00am and D'anne Kigler forgot to wear as kermit the frong shirt-but it still turned out well :)
Jan 19th 2011 is MY Birthday (like if we were born on the SAME day!)
7👍 8👎
To celebrate one year closer to death...
"Every birthday is one day closer to my grave."
3👍 2👎
Your father's cumiversary
Happy birthday , you little shit
3👍 3👎
Birthday the day I came out of a stomach
My moms a pussy, she had a c-section, that's my birthday
3👍 4👎
A day to commemorate the fact that you were the fastest swimmer in your dad's ballsack
Person: What's your greatest achievement
You: I won a race against 500 Million participants. On my birthday none the less.
3👍 4👎