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an extremely retarded and ghetto school located in fairfax, virginia where thay have only one kind of teacher: lame, fat, menopausal, and femenist. it's extremely small with an incredibly boring carpool system in the gym, where the butch p.e teacher lives. mrs. kelley, the satanic teacher eats up little kindergartners whith her best buddy, mr. peanut and mrs vincent, who yells at people for no reason besides when she 'forgot' to eat breakfast. all of the priests there think french kissing is a sin and they sound like kermit the frog. they find the 5th grade boys attractive. the principle (sr maureen and mrs gilbrid-pregnant-)is a bit*h. graduation was nice.
gameshow host: ok boys and girls, i want you to think of as many synonyms as you can for 'hell'
contestant: st. bernadettes, st b's, mr peanut, heck, doctor's office, hell, &...mrs darden's house!!!
host: well i think we hav a winner!
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Some one who needs to do something but never gets to it and complains later that she does not have time and rushes through it because she spent the hour playing games on the television
My girl friend is such a Bernadette almendra she sat there playing games on the television then complained that she never has time to go to the store
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The most scientific scale known to man for rating the desired mouth-to-phallus ratio during the practice of oral sex. On one end of the spectrum, we have Bernadette Peters with a diminutive mouth. We'll assign her oral cavity a value of .99 carollas (unit of measurement named after Adam Carolla, a pioneer in the field of Phallometry, whose Water-Displacement Method is now the standard throughout the Penile Sciences). Multiplying this value by the average human penis size (100 carollas) yields a Carolla Psychological Satisfaction (or C.P.S.) score of 99 aces (as in, "That's just aces!"). On the other end of the spectrum, we have the less desirable orifice of Sandra Bernhard measuring .01 carollas. Once again, multiplying this value by 100 yields a score of 1 ace. This indicates that the experience of inserting the male member into Bernhard's mammoth mouth for the purpose of fellatio, while perhaps physically pleasurable, is overshadowed by the pride-shattering effects.
Monica Lewinsky: Hey, Bill, you want a BJ?
President Clinton: (covers mouthpiece of the phone he's holding) Monica, I'm on the phone with a Congressman. Sorry about that sir. (inaudible chatter from phone) Yeah, just some intern I'm banging. About a 7. But you should see the mouth on her. (more inaudible chatter) What's the Bernadette-Bernhard scale? (more chatter) Adam who? Oh, I love Birchum.
Monica Lewinsky: Bill, I'm wearing that blue dress you like.
President Clinton: Congressman, I've gotta go. But you've sure given me something to think about. Maybe I'll just work her over with a cigar.
Morgan Freeman Narrator: But he didn't. Well he did. But he also got oral. Completely rejecting the principles of the Bernadette-Bernhard scale. Two things were lost that day: America's innocence, and the confidence of the pretty well-endowed Leader of the Free World. It just goes to show you, some birds aren't meant to be caged, their feathers are too bright. But in such a massive cage, who can see a bird anyway? Get it on. Got to get it on. No choice but to get it on. Mandate, get it on.
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A name for people who hate the letter B. In particular, they hate other people whose name starts with the letter B. They want to be the only letter B name in the universe.
"Man, did you hear? Bernadette slashed Brandon's tires"
Can be a person but most likely the cutest yorkie and overall best dog that has or ever will live. Rider for life. Mountain goat. Fiercer than your dog. Will bite the hand that feeds her or a small child. Definitely your right hand gunner in any crisis. Most likely the runt. Most likely out live everyone. May have an underbite or overcompensate for her small stature.
#sweetbernadette #bernie #bern #berns #napoleoncomplex #rider #dogga #bestie
Oh you think you’re a Bernadette?
Better bring your Bernadette face to the fight.
That is hella Bernd up.
Bern and turn.
Don’t flex on me you ain’t no Bernie.
A blast from the past of the utmost unmotherly intuition. Lacking the almighty skill to mother a gerbil. Cooking, we won't even go there, just pass the dish and "feel full". She is someone you do not want to imitate, or even pay attention to. Also an attention, greedy, needy, whorebanger.
Jesus, your mom just dropped you'll off at foster care for me time....what a fucking Bernadette. Wow. Fuck that whorebanger. Don't need that bitch anyways"
A low rent unattractive female with a hairy back and who has very bad breath , excessive body odor and poor motor skills.
Did you see that woman who caused the car accident?
Yeah, what a Bernadette.
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