Marriage

The act of sealing your fate and selling your soul to one person, and then possibly losing everything you own when you get a divorce. Notice how I didn't say if?

"What demon did you sell your soul to this time?"

"Marriage."

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marriage

A sure way to kill 95% of a woman's sex drive.

Justine and I usta make like rabbits all the time. Now after marrying her I'm lucky to get laid one or two times a week.

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marriage

1.) Point at which a male's opinions become utterly worthless.
2.) Point at which a male must spend weekends at the Mall
3.) Point at which a male must buy hundreds of shoes from italy
4.) Point at which a female stops working due to getting knocked up, thus forcing male further into the pits of hell

"I can't dude, I'm married"

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Marriage

Love, honor, respect

Marriage is to love, honor, and respect.

Marriage

A (legal) pact between two people (usually attracted to each other) to stay together forever in a working, two-way relationship.

A marriage falls apart if it is only one party that is willing to communicate and cooperate.

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marriage

What straight couples have legally and commonly don't want, and what gay couples don't have legally and commonly want.

Irony in the first degree.

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marriage

Suicide in it's worst form.

Jerry: Dude, Ben committed marriage yesterday.

Joe: Holy shit dude. Well, so much for hanging out with ben.

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