Mormon Playboy

n. slang: Victoria's Secret Catalog.

"Got a Mormon Playboy in the mail."
'Uh, this is a Victoria's Secret Catalog.'
"Yeah."
'...'

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mormon wine

Martinelli's Sparkling Cider...what Mormons drink at gatherings in lieu of wine.

The Kimball Family brought a bottle of Mormon Wine to the New Years party.

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sand mormon

A Muslim
See also: Snow Muslim

Muslim people are not so bad, they are really just Sand Mormons.

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Mormon Pong

The same thing as beer pong, except you use water instead of beer. Perfect for when you are poor and can't buy any beer, just ran out of beer, or are a mormon and can't drink.

-Hey man, go to the fridge and get some more beer for beer pong.
(goes to fridge)
-Bro, we are OUT OF BEER.
- You did not just say "out of beer" to me.
- Sorry dude, guess we will have to play mormon pong.

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Mormon-Jewbag

The circumsized skin off of a Mormon-Jew man.

Just sold Romneys Mormon-Jewbag for 400 dollars on Ebay.

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mormon temple

A very architecturally beautiful building both inside and out, built using faithful mormon's money. The atmosphere is similar to a library's. The temple is considered the holiest place on earth for mormons, and as God's house on earth. It is here that they perform "the ordinances of salvation" for both the dead and the living. The ordinances performed are the following:

1. Baptisms for the dead

2. Ordaining to the priesthood for men who died without receiving it

3. Confirmations for the dead, where a proxy is "confirmed" a member of the mormon church, and given the gift of the holy ghost

4. Washing and anointings for both the living and the dead

5. The endowment for both the living and the dead. Basically a "christianized" version of masonic ceremonies, modified by mormonism's founder Joseph Smith, who himself was a free mason.

6. Sealings (aka Eternal Marriage) for both the dead and the living

7. The second anointing. Most mormons don't even know about this ceremony, and as far as I know it's only performed at a certain few of the larger temples. It consists of two parts - one performed in the temple, and one performed by the married couple in their own home. They are sealed up unto heaven for their righteousness.

So, to sum everything up, temples are beautiful buildings, wherein strange symbolic rituals are performed to guarantee your salvation.

Salt Lake Temple, Nauvoo Temple, mormon temple, temple

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mormon drive by

When a Mormon cums on all his wives faces in a row.

Did you hear Tim Mormon drive byed his wives?