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A shit excuse for your parents to eat cookies and drink wine, also it's just your dad smooching your mother not an overweight fat old man cheating on his wife.
Child: is santa claus coming?
Dad and Mum: Oh yeah ;)
The morbidly obese man that breaks into houses every year on December 24th and eats all of the food in your house. If you ever see him in your house, run. Santa Claus will give out presents to kids that he finds attractive and the ugly ones get coal. The presents usually have trackers in them as he handmade them with his children slaves that he kidnapped, also known as “elves”
Sometimes you may find some very small elves in your house. Dispose of them immediately because they have cameras in them. Santa isn’t your friend. He’s a child predator.
*kid wakes up*
oh my goodness it’s santa claus and he is in my room
santa claus: ho ho ho get in my fabric sack
kid: *climbs into fabric sack*
santa claus: hahaha now you are my elf
kid: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
*the kid was forced to make toys until the end of time*
A large pedo that likes when little children sit on his lap and tell him what they want for christmas. He also usually watches little children to monitor their behaviour so he can alter their christmas presents.
Santa claus is coming to town...
He sees you when you're sleeping...
He knows when you're awake...
He knows if you've been bad or good...
He's a stalker for goodness sakes...
Let's have a tall glass of Santa Gravy to celebrate the season
An unfortunate but extremely common misspelling of Santa Claus, a fat man who breaks into people's homes every December 24th, guzzles their milk, devours their cookies, and usually leaves presents under the tree -- though if your children behaved especially shittly earlier in the year, a lump of coal that's been uranated on will be deposited in their Christmas stocking instead of brightly-wrapped presents.
Santa usually enters people's homes via the fireplace chimney; though if the chimney's plugged up, the flue is closed, if a fire is still burning, or if the person lives in an apartment and has no chimney, he'll find some other method of entrance and egress -- such as by jimmying a window.
Santa Clause came down the chimney last night and left a huge pile of coal that smelled like piss! Wonder what the children did to piddle off the fat bastard so much?!?
Jaden Santa is so rude and so smelly like no wonder no one likes him lol
Jaden Santa eats ass and everyone hates him I hope he gets hit in the face by a soccer ball.
A flying furred animal that is fucking magical. Don't question their existence.
Dale: Santa's Reindeer is best shipped with my little pony characters.
Sane person: Dude what the actual fuck