Uncertain Times

The mealy-mouthed, weasel-worded, chickenshit phrasing that brand advertising likes to believe is "reassuring" about massively negative global events, instead of using real words about what may be going on, like "pandemic" and/or "economic crisis" and/or "presidential incompetence".

Singular form: "(this) difficult time"

"In these "uncertain times", disposable toilet seat covers are more critical than ever, like airlines and vacation cruises. Remember, sometimes the only thing between you and a coronavirus droplet might be a Big Johnson Ass Gasket."

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time vampire

Something or someone who literally sucks your time like a vampire sucks blood.

My computer broke again, I spent all night working on that fucking time vampire.

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island time

The time vacuum created by the ocean's presence. Similar to stoner's time, everything moves nice and slow. This carefree aura even has the ability to travel with islanders and can engulf you in their presence.

What did you do today?

Well after my second nap, I sat around, looked out the window and had a cocktail.
I am on island time.

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Time Traveler

Someone who travels through the past and present. Whether it is through an object, at will, or using worm holes. A time traveler can visit any time in the past, present, or future.

The time traveler went from 2016 to the year 5900.

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monkey time

a block of time, carefully set aside for the sole purpose of engaging in auto-erotic behavior

Mom: Has anyone seen Rufus? I can't find the little dude.
Young son and Rufus' bro: Check the basement closet. It's monkey time in RufusLand. Ole'.

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Poopy Time

Something that ex Slab City Goonies Camp leader Mike Dibble would say as a metaphor for anal sex and or licking of the anus. Typically a child as Mike is a Chomo.

Mike- “Hey kids! I wanna get my poopy time on with ya, and film it!
Kid-“ Hell no. Get away from me ya tweaked out homo!”

Mike- “I wasn’t askin. I was telling. Now show me your butt!”
Kid- “ahhhh”
Mike- “mmm. Got me some poopy time on film! Eddie is gonna love this!”

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Balls Time

Extreme courage and valor in any given situation.

Ronald Speirs of the US Army during WWII who ran through German infantry, artillery, and armor to join up with I Company. Only to then run through all that again to rejoin back with E Company. Balls Time.

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