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My kidnapper ate my traffic

When you try to think of an excuse

Why am I late? uhhh, uhhhh, my kidnapper ate my traffic

by ascendedbread May 5, 2023


Morning Traffic Jam

When you get up in the morning and go to take a shit, but your boner keeps you from putting it in the toilet to not get pee everywhere.

"My day was off to a horrible star when I had a Morning Traffic Jam."

by ShadowKiller147 January 1, 2019


Roadrunner Traffic

This occurs when you walk out to your car and the roads are clear. You open the door and the roads are clear. You start your engine and the roads are clear. You put your turn signal signal on and the roads are crazy with traffic. Like when the Roadrunner runs through the intersection safely, but the Coyote touches the road with his toe and it's solid wall-to-wall traffic, blowing horns and beeping at him.

I tried to make a left turn but suddenly the intersection was full of roadrunner traffic.

by Frank Symptoms April 30, 2024


russian traffic stop

A Russian traffic stop is when in a video game or irl if you are a true Slav you rush at a active enemy tank while shouting “urrrah urrrah” jump on top of it break the hatches open and kill the whole crew Stalin would be proud

Soviet soldier 1 do you see that panzer comrade ivan?
Ivan yes comrade

Rush that Cyka

*ivan does Russian traffic stop and impresses Stalin*

by Rushbcykablyat June 1, 2022


traffic snoozer

Some one stopped at a controlled intersection, with a green light thats on the phone and not paying attention and holding everyone behind them up.

Man I was late to work because of a traffic snoozer at 5th and main.

by DaCrushaa March 19, 2017


traffic waster

A person that's driving a car, lorry,etc, and is moving too slow, wasting other drivers time, usually leaving a long queue behind them.

This driver ahead of us is such a traffic waster.

by travel_to May 25, 2015


Pontefract Sex Shop Traffic Jam

Due to the bridge strengthening work required on a Yorkshire stretch of the A1, motorists are often queued for a long period of time outside the Pontefract branch of the chain sex shop, Pulse & Cocktails, making it easier to peruse and judge the shoppers on their purchases as they leave, and discuss what sordid activities they’ll be partaking in with your fellow passengers.

“I got stuck in the Pontefract Sex Shop Traffic Jam, and spotted Jeff from work coming out of the store with a 15-inch double-ended black mamba, three butt-plugs and some cling film. Must be going to Sharon’s house for a Hot Lunch.”

by GoodinBed November 13, 2024