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A James is a pessimistic sneering curmudgeon of a man, often found making cutting remarks about the popular choices of his peers in an echo chamber of his own narcissism
A James can be caring, loving, even altruistic at times but this is merely a veneer to a more irritable pedantic undercurrent that underpins his worldview. A James is loathe to find themselves among the credulous masses, posting old pictures to social media or worse still, posting falsified hyperbolic definitions of their forenames
A James is stoic, unmoved by contemporary culture and a bastion for the virtues espoused by previous generations. They are most likely to be seen drinking sparkling water without irony and waxing lyrical about the smell of book pages. Do not approach a James without caution, their general acidity (physically, vocally, emotionally, mentally) is known to upset even the most unfaltering PH levels amongst biological sentients. They generally like order, they dislike waffles
He’s been a proper James about this today
james is the kindest person you will ever meet. you would see him across the room and suddenly you would forget how to breathe as you feel butterflies in your stomach. his eyes are your favourite thing about him closely followed by the fact that hearing his voice is better than hearing your favourite song. i fell for james. i stay up all night thinking abt him and what we could’ve been. i think i love james but idk how he’d react if i told him. james is also the prettiest guy you’ve ever seen even tho your friends call him ugly. if you ever meet a james in your life, you’re lucky to have him!! x
friend: who did you just smile at?
me: oh this guy called james
friend: oh ok, how do u know him?
me: we have history <3
Someone with very shit music taste
Someone:"who's that guy with bad music taste"
Someone: "James."
James is the best boyfriend ever! He's sweet and adorable, showers me with compliments, and is always horny as fuck. He's super respectful towards women/me, and is very respectful of my boundaries. He is so much more, but I could never fit it all😍😘
Stranger: That guy's hot😍
Me: Back off bitch, that's my boyfriend James😤
The best person to exist ever, if you know a guy named James, you are set for life. The people named James are so cool in high school they make the emo kid not want to kill theirself.
Bob: Oh man, I heard James is having a pool party over at his house! This is going to be the best party ever!
Charlie: Man, I didn't get invited!
Bob: Sucks to be you then. :(