you trying to catch these hands

If a guy says it it means are you trying to fight/do you want to fight but if a girl says it (to a guy) it means do you want me to give you a hand job basically

Guy: you trying to catch these hands
Other person: yeah come at me

Girl:you trying to catch these hands 😏
Guy: defiantly 😉

12👍 84👎

Why did it teleport to my hand

A thing to say to someone if you would jerk off to them ironically

Video* of a naked black man*
Me: why did it teleport to my hand so quickly

8👍 4👎

put your hand in my pocket

when you in jail and your jail mate or daddy wants some loving to dad and your going to give it to him

put your hand in my pocket boy

11👍 8👎

horseshoes, hand grenades, and nuclear war

Even though you missed it by a tiny amount, you still didn't get there.

A time when there is no positive effect, or will be no positive effects, because of your actions".

With horseshoes, hand grenades, and nuclear war, you can miss your target, or goal, but still have some positive effect.

Luke : "Are you ready to go? We have to get to the airport, NOW!"
Chris :"I'm close"
Luke : "Close only counts in horseshoes, hand grenades, and nuclear war".

Zach : "I was so close to getting that job"
Matt : "Yeah, but close only counts in horseshoes, hand grenades, and nuclear war".

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I want to hold her hand

A juvenile expression used to admit that one likes a female; also can be used to grossly understate one's level of sexual attraction to someone.

Dave: That girl you've been seeing seems pretty cool, are you into her?

Paul: Yeah, you could say "I want to hold her hand"...

or

Larry: Didn't Charlize Theron look amazing in Prometheus?

Bill: Yeah dude, I'd hold her hand...

4👍 1👎

A dick in the mouth is worth two in the hand

A blowjob is worth the value of two handjobs. Frequently used in negotiations by cheap hookers. Not to be confused with the meaningful expression involving birds and bushes.

HOOKER: "Okay you got two blowjobs and half a handjob, that will be $4.50"
DUDE: "What? That's a bit steep, I thought you told me a handjob was only a dollar!"
HOOKER: "Its fair. A dick in the mouth is worth two in the hand"

4👍 1👎

a dick in the bush is worth two in the hand

Sex with a woman is always preferable to jerking off

You coming to the party? There's going to be lots of trim.
Nah, gonna stay in and jerk off.

C'mon, dude, a dick in the bush is worth two in the hand.

13👍 9👎