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MUFF GLU-TON.
A muff gluten is a man or female that craves vagina...
Also see: Butt gluten and Cock gluten
Tom H:"Moomin loves pussy; shame he never gets any."
Duke:"He is quite the muff gluten
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Description of something usually, but not always, politically correct while being affected at the same time.
Q: Did you see her new Toyota Prius?
A: Yeah I saw it. That's SO gluten free!
Jim: "He quit his job to go work for Green Peace."
Bob: "Are you serious dude? That's just f@#king gluten free is what that is."
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When a person only eats gluten based foods even when it is not needed
He is eating curry with bread instead of rice, he is such a gluten hoe
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Lars was shopping at whole foods when he suddenly let out a massive gluten toot!
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To have sex with someone while wearing a bagel, donut, or other pierced article of wheat around the shaft.
Javier loves to gluten tag his special friend. His special friend is less enthusiastic.
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The willingness to have sex in any orifice other than the anus. Usually used in the first or second encounter with a new partner.
Secondary Definition: Extreme sensitivity or complete reluctance towards anal sex.
Dude, I hooked up last and we did just about everything imaginable and when I tried to go greek she told me she was Gluten-free!
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There are many kinds of hipster ass thorns: the vegetarian, the vegan, the juice cleanse, the diet, the peanut allergy (I KNOW ITS NOT A CHOICE BUT SHUT UP ABOUT IT ALREADY I DONT NEED TO HEAR ABOUT IT GOD YOURE WORSE THAN THE LACTOSE INTOLERANT GUY!)
However, the gluten douche is arguably the most prominent of the bunch. The gluten douche likes to bombard you with excuse me does this have gluten? Or just asking what’s in something even though gluten douche knows damn well that isn’t gluten free they just want you to list all the things in it so they can interject and tell you how fat and unhealthy you are for even breathing near gluten
Guy 1: “Oh god it’s the gluten douche.”
Guy 2: “ I swear to god if he asks about gluten one more time I’m gonna shove this ‘gluten packed high calorie’ pizza crust down his throat.”
Guy 1: “It’s like we get it you’re healthy shut up!”
Guy 2: “Right?”
Gluten douche: “excuse me, but is that gluten free?”
Guy 1: “you don’t like the crusts right?”