Random
Source Code
Random
After copulation, a partner makes a mustache and/or beard with semen on the other partner.
After the blow job, he gave her a Santa Claus.
48👍 59👎
Codeword for the guy we depend on to deliver the good bud.
He don't just show up on Christmas Eve; but, he is rather erratic on his timing, dammit.
KELLY (on cell): Hey, Gary just thought I'd let you know: I haven't seen SANTA CLAUS. So, I guess it's 'whenever.' I wish he'd hurry up and at least gimme a call.
My boyz are itchin'.
GARY: "Well, maybe he's stuck in traffic. It'll be Christmas soon."
KELLY: "Alright, man. I just thought I'd let you know."
31👍 36👎
1. A fake Christmas from the north pole who make toys for good boys and girls with his elves and wife.
2. A Turkish man named St. Nicholas who made little trinkets for poverty-stricken children and put the toys in the shoes they left on their doorsteps.
3. A lie parents tell their children so they don't cause trouble all year but'll never go to the 'jects.
4. The guy at the mall and the kids take a picture with some desperate fat guy who probably is a drunk who abuses his wife and hates kids.
1. "Ho! Ho! Ho!"
2.
3. Timmy, if you're good and quiet Santa Claus will get you that bike you want...and I can fuck Uncle Nick all year without you telling this time.
4. Ho!Ho!Ho...later...Fuckin' brats (chugs) this soup is cold bitch! (slaps wife).
29👍 34👎
A jolly old man who lives at the north pole with his wife and thousands of elves. He flies around the world on Christmas Eve delivering presents to good little girls and boys, but only when they're fast asleep. He also delivers presents to children on their birthdays, but only if they're on his VIP list.
Santa claus gave me a super ultra laser beam gun for my sixth birthday.
14👍 17👎
The best man ever, as he is so generous and only take some-what crappy cookies in return. I love that man. <0> <3
I love Santa Claus. <3
12👍 14👎
A fat man who comes to your house once a year and not any day because he's in jail for breaking and entering.
When parents tell their little kids to not get in trouble or they won't get any fucking presents for x-mas.
m: Bobby, if you kill your sister, Santa Claus won't give you anything for Christmas!!
Bobby: Oh yeah. I want a double bladed axe for x-mas so i'll just have to wait till after.