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Ted Cruz

1.) A power-hungry dimwit who suffers under the smug delusion that becoming popular with a fringe movement loathed by the vast majority of Americans is going to land him in the Oval Office one day.

2.) Another way of saying the Dunning-Kruger effect. As in, "the Ted Cruz effect", whereby someone who is utterly incompetent is so profoundly detached from reality that they perceive themselves as being vastly more competent than they actually are, precisely because of how incompetent they are.

Ted Cruz: "Hi, I'm Ted Cruz! I'm running for president and I want to do away with Obamacare, the EPA, and basically all progress made over the last 60 years!"

Everyone else: "Wait... weren't you born in Canada?"

Ted Cruz: "Well... we'll let other people sort that out!"

Everyone else: "Uh... No, we won't. You're a Tea Tard dumbass who wants to become president, and you can't legally become president in any case. You will never, ever, sit in the Oval Office."

Ted Cruz: "Well I think that those Confederate flag-waving old white folks out there might say differently!"

Everyone else: "We're done here."

by Could_be_anyone October 17, 2013

2492๐Ÿ‘ 1801๐Ÿ‘Ž


Ted Cruz

Canadian-born teahadist who represents Texas in the U.S. Senate, he helped orchestrate a government shutdown as part of an effort to defund the Affordable Care Act

Ted Cruz seems to have just one goal in life; stop the Affordable Care Act no matter what.

by Republican$$uck November 22, 2013

2883๐Ÿ‘ 2474๐Ÿ‘Ž


Ted Cruz

A phrase used to describe an abnormally large piece of excrement.

Damn! That Cow just took a huge Ted Cruz on the ground!

I just took a Ted Cruz in the toilet. Took me about 3 flushes to finally flush that big turd down.

by TheTruthWithin October 16, 2013

1720๐Ÿ‘ 1583๐Ÿ‘Ž


Ted Cruz

myopic self-righteous, power hungry asshole who won't listen to anyone or change his views no matter the circumstances.

That guy you're dating is a total Ted Cruz. Run for the hills before he defunds your abortion savings account.

by wonkette2016 October 1, 2013

1319๐Ÿ‘ 1359๐Ÿ‘Ž


Ted-Cruz

a person who bumbles thru life going from fuck up to fuck up without realizing.

other meanings may occur when they are the person required to take responsibility but is no where to be found!

my uncle, he's such a ted-cruz...

by Jimjimjimmyjim May 6, 2021

2๐Ÿ‘ 1๐Ÿ‘Ž


Ted Cruz

Verb. When you defecate liquid poo so hard into a seated toilet so hard, the resulting splash covers both of your cheeks and sullies the back of your shirt. The experience is extremely unpleasant and aptly named after a notoriously unpleasant US Senator from Texas.

Bro, after eating one and a half chipotle burritos and chasing them down with four shots of espresso, I Ted Cruzed my girlfriend's toilet and had to throw away my favorite button down shirt.

by Softestalpaca June 14, 2022

3๐Ÿ‘ 1๐Ÿ‘Ž


Ted Cruz

A sexual position where you ask your partner for consent, and they respond telling you how the Republican Party is being oppressed. You ask again, and they pull down their pants, take a shit on your face. Your partner, if male, proceeds to cut off part of their penis if it isn't already a micropenis, and rape you with their limp, bloody dick. When they ejaculate, they make sure to tell you "you can't abort that precious life it has rights" steals your money, jumps out the window and cuts NASA's budget by half while giving the big banks your money. Never should have had sex with a penguin man.

Wow, I can't believe what's happening to NASA's budget. It looks like they got the Ted Cruz treatment.

by EpicRealityCheck January 23, 2016

132๐Ÿ‘ 333๐Ÿ‘Ž