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The timeless act of using large wooden shafts to ejaculate white orbs as far as possible into a leathery receptacle.
This has, in a most peculiar fashion, ceased to become a useful expenditure of one's time, because baseball players are universally the least athletic athletes so people believe and also because baseball has far more use as an elaborate metaphor by which sexually explorative concepts may be explained without flouting the courtesy of the room.
Baseball: Sex
Example Idioms:
If there's grass on the field, it's time to play ball...
Hate the player, not the game...
If you get confused by all the rules, remember to look at the scoreboard...
No one likes the outfield...
Infielders Hit First... But also catch everything...
Perfect games are rare, and are made infinitely worse by drugs and booze, even if more fun.
You can't fight the stats, and superstition is real.
Example Similes:
Pinch Hitter: One who comes in on the failures of another to close a tight seventh inning.
Bottom of the Ninth: The dinner/party is over, it's nine o'clock and wine is flowing, and it's time to fuck or get the fuck out.
Pitcher: lol
Catcher: lol
Outfield: those who wander blindly into a world catching whatever falls into their lap.
Shortstop: the sexual omega
First Baseman: the sexual alpha
Seventh Inning Stretch: You've been grinding all night, you check out into the men's room to see if you can still get hard after all those whiskies, and if not you bounce and go for a sacrifice bunt.
Intentional Walk: She likes you, so she taps you on the upper arm.
Bunt: Not ideal.
Runner Coach: Never fucking hits anything, but tries to coach the runner anyway.
Foul Tip: You bounce around the club after two strikes on a high fastball, and just get numbers because everyone knows you can't strike out if you keep tipping fouls.
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Best goddamn sport ever. Screw whatever the hell you assholes in Britian call Rounders. WTF is that shit? Baseball is a great game, and the AMERICAN pastime, so it's automatically freakin awesome. FUCK YOU BRITIAN!!!! CUZ WE WON THE REVOLUTION!!!! HA!!!!
American: Let's go watch the Yankees vs. Red Sox game at the bar.
Brit: I do believe we should go onto the pub and watch a little soccer
American: Never say soccer to an American you fag!!!
American:*punches out British bastard* C'mon guys, let's go watch the Yankees game. And then, we can laugh at England for losing the Revolution!
Other Americans: Sounds good Joe.
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Like George Carlin said: "One of the 3 real sports."
You need athleticism and strategy. There are usually 9 fielders and a pitcher, who throws complicated pitches like 95mph curveballs to a batter who tries to hit them.
Sure, there are a few more active sports, but you do need athleticism to play baseball. People who call the sport boring, pointless, non-athletic, gay, etc. are either jealous they stink at it, or mentally challenged to a degree.
Tom: Spring is here. What sport shall we play?
Tim: Baseball, of course! It's the best sport ever!
Tom: Of Course!
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The Dumbest "Sport" ever created by human beings. This game is probably easier than Nascar, which is driving in a circle 600 times. Baseball is a sorry excuse for a sport. A game where players can be overweight and still be professional. Each game takes about 5-6 hours, 98% of which is fat American men standing in a field for hours and chewing tobacco. A game where you use 10 year old motor skills.
"watch me catch this ball with this giant glove, oh my god this is so hard!!"
Baseball players and watchers honestly do not have a life, watch a sport that has action in it for GODS SAKE!!
Billy Bob: "Hey Frank! want to go play baseball with me?!"
Frank: "Billy bob, you know we're both 100 pounds overweight!"
Billy Bob: "Oh its ok! baseball doesn't require any atheletic skills anyways!"
Frank: "hmm, you're right Billy. I even have 6 hours to not do anything today! when i get home im going to put on my wife beater and drink some bear, i'm such an american redneck!
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Okay, I am just responding to that really long definition about the kid who said that baseball was an "unathletic" sport. If you would do some god-damn research you would realize that baseball is a very athletic sport. First of all, hitting a ball going 90 miles per hour with a 3 inch wide bat takes athleticism and hand-eye-coordination. And to hit a homerun u need to hit the ball 300-400 ft, now don't tell me that hitting a ball going 80-100 mph for 300-400 ft doesn't take athleticism. In Basketball all you need to do is dribble the ball, which u learn when ur 5, and then throw the (big) ball and the (big) hoop. And if you are tall all you need to do is stand in front of a guy and put ur hands up and block the shot. And did u know that Micheal Jordan SUCKED ASS when he came to play baseball. so what u said about anyone being able to play is bullshit. And what about soccer? All you need to do is kick a ball, into a net. For baseball, it takes lots of athletic ability to throw a ball 90-100 mph, and make it drop, curve, cut, etc. So before u get alll mad at baseball, do some research about it....PS--last time I checked, in Football, when you are on offense or defense, you are sitting for longer then you are during baseball. And baseball is a 162 game season, and they only have 18 off days. 162 games in 180 days! now that takes stamina, skill, athleticism, determination, which is why baseball is the best sport ever!
That kid who was talking about baseball needs to get his head outta his ass and stop talking about baseball. The only reason he makes fun of baseball is because he sucks at baseball, and because of his failed attempts at the sport, he likes to make fun of it.
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1. Apparently, the sport with the most homophobic haters.
2. America's pasttime, played with nine players, 1 pitcher, one catcher, 4 infielders, and 3 outfielders.
Gets a bad rep because of all of the MLB players that have taken steroids.
Example of definition 1: Definitions I have seen for baseball
"Gay-ass sport" "sport that is only played by fags" et cetera
Example of definition 2: Baseball only has a bad reputation because of its professional players
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A very strategic, complicated, and hard sport to play, but is sure fun to watch.
Lately, not only does America play baseball, but so does Japan, Cuba, Dominican Republic, austraila, South Africa and other countrys compete in something called the World Baseball Classic, kinda like the World Cup only it is a lot more fun to watch.
Many people find baseball boring which is untrue. Baseball is about 10X better to watch if your watching your favorite team play, which is why many TV Stations are based on one baseball team and many baseball announcers are biased for there favorite team. If your not watching your favorite team, then yeah, baseball is boring as hell.
European people can have they're soccer, cuz the Western Hemisphere, Asia, Australia, and South Africa are crazy over baseball not only making it America's pastime, but making it the world's pastime
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