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hair metal

The future of rock and roll

Man, they sucked, but they sure had HAIR!

by Boob Titson June 30, 2003

45๐Ÿ‘ 150๐Ÿ‘Ž


hair metal

A genre that like most genre of music has some good bands but also has some posers. The posers really make the genre look bad.

An example of a good bands would be Motley Crew.

An example of a poser band would be Kiss. They are more of a travelling theatrical group than they are actually a band.

But I must say Hair Metal really isn't metal at all. Nothing is heavy about it.

Me: What is your fav. type of metal.
Person: I like hair metal.
Me: But I said metal.
Person: They are metal, they have alot of hair.
Me: That has nothing to do with anything.

by Okita-Kun October 4, 2005

28๐Ÿ‘ 119๐Ÿ‘Ž


Hair Metal

The worst "music" ever created. Loved by wannabe badasses, groupies, fashion queers, frat boys, pop culture whores, corporate fucks and other lame deluded morons with no sense of musical talent. People associated with Hair Metal love to blame it's demise on Alternative Rock music(also known as REAL rock music, for you dumbasses.) But in reality, hair metal demised because people were sick of how artificial it was. It was pop based metal, for fucks sake. It wasn't killed by the rise of grunge. It wasn't even killed by thrash metal. How was it killed? People just got sick of the same shit that Hair Metal spewed out. Cheesy love songs made no other than to sellout and get into women's pants. Seriously, you all make me sick. Atleast Alternative Rock's lyrics actually have meaning.

Here is proof Hair Metal sucks and has no meaningful lyrics:

For Hair Metal, we have Warrant's lyrics to "Cherry Pie". Lets see how "meaningful" their lyrics are compared to Alternative Rock:

"She's my cherry pie
Cool drink of water
Such a sweet surprise
Tastes so good
Make a grown man cry
Sweet Cherry Pie
Yeah"

Now for Alternative, we have Alice in Chains' lyrics to "Sunshine". Lets see how meaningful their lyrics are compared to Hair Metal:

"Sunshine...sweet love my labor
Don't mind...I don't care no more

Memory, set me free, yeah
I don't care no more
Mother please, come for me

Can you face the question?
Is my soul entire?

Sunshine...sweet love my labor
Don't mind...I don't care no more"

Which lyrics have more meaning? It should be obvious that Alice in Chains' lyrics are more meaningful and kill Warrant's.

Now, let's have another test to let me confirmed that hair metal is artificial.

This is Motley Crue's "Girls Girls Girls" lets see how "meaningful" the lyrics are:

"Girls, Girls, Girls
At the Dollhouse in Ft. Lauderdale
Girls, Girls. Girls
Rocking in Atlanta at Tattletails
Girls, Girls, Girls
Raising Hell at the 7th Veil Have you read the news
In the Soho Tribune
Ya know she did me
Well then she broke my heart"

Now we have Smashing Pumpkins' "Today", lets see how meaningful the lyrics are:

"Pink ribbon scars
That never forget
I've tried so hard
To cleanse these regrets
My angel wings
Were bruised and restrained
My belly stings"

Obviously "Today" takes the reward. Who in the hell finds "Girls, Girls, Girls" meaningful?? Hair Metal was crap, so move on.

by Someone who knows his shit September 25, 2006

829๐Ÿ‘ 710๐Ÿ‘Ž


Hair Metal

Quite possibly the most terrible genre of music on Earth, excluding gospel. Hair metal usually features band members dressed as homosexuals, annoying shrill vocals, and downright stupid lyrics.

Hey, do you listen to hair metal?

No dude, I'm not a shithead.

by liam. December 20, 2006

372๐Ÿ‘ 341๐Ÿ‘Ž


Hair Metal

Also referred to as Pop Metal and Glam Metal, Hair Metal was an accidental sub-genre of corporate bullshit that was force fed to America by both the masses of wannabe badasses with teased out hair who apparently thought that the best way into a woman's pants was by dressing like women themselves, and the corporate suck-fest known as MTV.

Those responsible for this heinous crime against rock n' roll and indeed, humanity itself, include such artists as Quiet Riot, Ratt, Motley Crue, Dokken, Bon Jovi, Great White, Whitesnake, Trixter, Kix, and Cinderella. After the whole movement, by the grace of God, fizzled out for a short time in 1987, this wave was replaced by an even cheesier bunch that included the Bulletboys, LA Guns, Poison, White Lion, Winger, Warrant, and Skid Row.

Thankfully there were some glimpses of authenticity during this dark period like Van Halen, Def Leppard, and Guns N' Roses (who score points not only for authenticity and talent but also for the unique ability to share the stage with a volitile gas such as Axl Rose).

guy 1: Dear God... what IS that... that THING? Is that a man or a woman?

guy 2: Neither... its a hair metalist.

guy 1: a "hair metalist?"

guy 2: yeah... they're undead creatures trapped in a terrifying demention in which there is no distinction between men and women.

guy 1: you mean Anime?

guy 2: no... worse... they stay alive solely by snorting cocaine and fucking groupies

guy 1: Jesus...

guy 2: no. not even Jesus would enter that realm...

by thatguy09 December 8, 2010

101๐Ÿ‘ 86๐Ÿ‘Ž


Hair Metal

To me,and many others,an acceptional form of music that many,many people listen to and the ignorant yuppies and preps oftoday call "noise".Fashioned in the early 1980's in the L.A. music scene,with most people finding this type of Genre to be "wretched,vile and awful",as every type of music Genre has.Not just sell-outs listen to it.I've seen goth people listen to it(don't start saying they're posers,because whatever "clique" you're apart of doesn't mean you HAVE to listen to the type of music assoated with that particular clique,listen to whatever you want).Such bands that might fit in maybe: Motley Crue,Whitesnake,Poison,Hanoi Rocks,Faster Pussycat,David Lee Roth,Def Leppard,Loudness,Quiet Riot,Ratt,LA Guns,KISS,Lita Ford,Femme Fatal,White Lion,Daddy Yankee,W.A.S.P. and may others.And if you're going to trash a form of music,PLEASE listen to more than ONE song.Try to listen to more than that.Thank you for your time and have a nice day :D

Metal Mania(a show on VH1 Classic) deals with classic rock,hair metal and heavy metal from possibly the 60's-80's and a little bit into the 90's.As well into today with the bands from back then with new materal or in concerts recently.

by 1993MetalHead August 31, 2009

236๐Ÿ‘ 309๐Ÿ‘Ž


Hair Metal

Hair Metal=Glam Metal!
And Glam Was Actually Real Rock N Roll

if you dont know Rock N Roll IS ABOUT Happines!
Not Some Crap Like Grunge And All Other Alternative Music
about sadness and suicide

alll alternative music Listeners

Please Suicide!
Fuckers!Just die

GLAM ROCK N ROLL FOR EVER!

Hair Metal=Glam Metal!
And Glam Was Actually Real Rock N Roll

by 80srocker August 23, 2009

194๐Ÿ‘ 281๐Ÿ‘Ž