American goal

A soccer term describing one of three events:

1. A team scores a goal it doesn't deserve.

2. A team scores a goal in the literal last minute of the game.

3. A team scores a goal and has it disqualified for absolutely no reason.

Can also be used to describe achievements outside of soccer. Based on the USA team's 2010 World Cup performance.

Example:
Ghana could not score the American goal with a penalty kick during overtime, and lost the match to Uruguay in the penalty shoot out.

Example:
Bill: That new supervisor is an idiot. How'd he get this job?

Ted: He's the boss's son.

Bill: Way to score an American goal.

real goals

real goals is to find a fuckbuddy

''ey did you tap his ass last night?''
''yup''
''that's real goals''

IVF goals

A handsome face that a pretty woman would want to IVF with

Howard Kevin Stern is IVF goals

field-goaling

when a person with a dick stands 5+ feet away from the urinal and tried to shoot their piss into it

person #1: damn, the bathroom is closed for cleaning, any idea why?

person #2: oh yea some dude tried field-goaling, major fail

What relationship goals really are

Those 'relationship goals' posts you see everywhere, do you think that really happens?

No.

Lilly: I fucking hate you, you're such a gross slut

Kate: no you're the gross slut

Lilly: lol we're such real relationship goals kally.

Kate: I know lolol this is what relationship goals really are like

Jew goal

An exceptionally shitty way someone gets a goal in hockey

Fucking Jew goal! God damnit

1👍 7👎