Random
Source Code
Random
How you were created.
Kid: "I just walked in on my parents having sex!"
17👍 9👎
So, you have a fetish for cats, eh?
"Here comes Evil Tim! Get the anal-lube quickly so he can purchase it fast and get the hell outta here before he rapes my cat!" - Chemist
90👍 68👎
Did you hear Zeus got laid last night? Aphrodite is a tiger in bed...a really sex god.
71👍 52👎
errotic pleasure between
1. a woman and a man, involving vagina and dick,
2. a woman and a woman, involving a vagina and anything they want to put in it, or
3. a man and a man, involving a dick and an asshole.
1. Girl: "I'd take you in my bed, then we would start kissing and our bodies would become closer to each other and I would begin to kiss your neck, then id take off your shirt, and id feel your torso and make sure you really were ripped. Then you would take off my shirt, and id help you with the bra, and youd caress my boobs as I pulled off your pants so that I was on top with you in your boxers. Then I would strip down and be totally nude and shaved, and I would slowly put my hand down your boxers, stimulate your dick, then take off your boxers. Holding your dick you would insert into my vagina, making sure to lightly graze my clit, and you would slowly but surely ease it in. I would hold my breath as you caressed my hips as I came down on you, and you pulled me closer so that we were very tight together, me lying on top of you. I would hold your shoulders for support and thrust my hips forward, being sure to help your dick hit my front wall so that I’m breathing heavily in excitement. We go faster and harder, in and out and your adrenaline is pulsing as we heave. The climax rises for both of us and we both feel the orgasm coming, but we don’t want it to end, so we slow down, breathing hard and catching our breath. then we re-arrange and im half-kneeling and your getting it in doggy-style and this new position hits you and me both in a new way and we bask in the pleasure that rises as you put it in. and out and in and faster and faster until we can't take it any longer and i fucking scream as you cum. we collapse together and hold on tight as we replay the passion and slow our breathing. ya... then we'd be done."
Guy: "thats hott sex"
2. Carrie had sex with Lindsay last night to turn on Joe and Bryan, isnt that retarded?
3. Phil had sex with Paul because they were life partners and loved each other.
92👍 69👎
Something I learned about in Catholic Schooling.
Priets like to have sex with little boys. I like to have sex with big boys. Guess, I am not a good Catholic anymore.
371👍 318👎
It was a long day for jakob got home from 10 straight hours of metal work carrie was standing at the door with no top and a tiny bottom just covering her vigina she said let's do it she sounded so excited I was excited to we got to our king size bed and I ripped off her tiny bottom and shoved her on the bed and it started my 8 inch penis in her vigina as hard as it could she was moaning so loud but she still said faster "FASTER FASTER FASTER" so I did I did it faster then I could do it to anyone it went on for about an hour then we stopped for a minute or 2 and she looked at my penis and said can i? I said go ahead excited. she got all the cum and I said my turn licking her vigina for about 30 mins. After that we barley wore clothes again unless we went out in public or people came to visit. Her curly bone hair was so beautiful I had a condem whenever I saw her to hump her in the anise or vigina and we had a great life
Beautiful sex
8👍 3👎
Its kinda like fractions, its improper for the larger one to be on top.
He had sex and went back to work, unable to sleep knowing all the issues he couldn't fix.
9👍 3👎