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Masturbating to any tv show or movie and hoping the more attractive character happens to be on screen when you finish.
I was playing a little Masturbation Roulette to the View today. I was hoping do finish to Elizabeth Hasslebeck, but I ended up on Joy Behar!!
19👍 3👎
Finding out, that after masturbating, you don't really want to do some of the sexual acts that you deemed a good idea while aroused or horny.
"Dude I was totally gonna go have sex with my Ex Girlfriend yesterday. I was stoked!"
"Well what happened bro??"
"PSH! I had a Masturbation Revelation after I jerked it to try and make it last longer. I texted her after I finished whacking it and told her to fuck off! Then I went and ate a sandwich"
16👍 2👎
Masturbating with a condom on. Done to simulate having sex with a condom on or as a way to not give your hand AIDS.
Glenn: Dude, you ever tried condom masturbation?
Max: No, why the hell would I do that?
Glenn: Well you don't want to give your hand AIDS do you?
30👍 6👎
Gay monkey that sits in the zoo cage, shows you its dick and then jacks of to your kidz standin at the window staring at them.
Q: Mummy, what's that monkey doing?
A: Never mind. Now Tonianne get away from that window and lets go to the lion cage now.
314👍 102👎
A plague of many modern electric guitarists. Long and excessive solo on the guitar or other instrument, to show technical superiority rather than compositional and songwriting skills.
Dream Theater are kings of musical masturbation
2361👍 859👎
Two people, either of the opposite sex or same sex, touching each others penis/vagina for pleasure and/or orgasm.
As I lay next to my girlfriend she used her hand to rub my hard cock, while I slipped my fingers into her hot tight pussy.
1103👍 395👎
To attempt to upset someone who dislikes you by telling them you get off to the thought of them.
Masturbation Rape: The boy threw out his letter, only to find it on the morning intercom the next day.
"Melissa Stockholm, I masturbate feverously to your picture every night. Love, Jimmy Stockholm."
64👍 17👎