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A sexual act in which a man cums into a woman's anus and urinates and keeps fucking her.
Jake: "Dude, i gave jessica a Michigan Milk Churner last night!"
Jamal:"Sweet Dude! How long did you keep going for?"
Jake:"like 2 Minutes."
Jamal:"Thats Crazy Dude!"
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The school that no one actually likes until they realize it's the only place they are smart enough to go to college.
Birth of a Michigan State University fan:
Jared age 16: I fucking hate high school. The teachers are always riding my ass about not doing homework-I don't need to do homework because I'm so smart I'll just ace the test. I can't wait until I get into Michigan. I've been watching Michigan football since I was 5.
Jared age 17: Fuck Cindy's party. Ryan and me are taking a road trip to watch Michigan fuck Ohio up in Columbus.
Jared age 18: I can't believe I'm still waitlisted. I've already been accepted to state, but maybe there is a chance I'll get in to Michigan still. Fuck State. It’s for hicks and tards anyway. Damn it. Why did I slack off these last 4 years? If only worked harder.
Jared on Graduation Day: Fuck you Paul. I didn't get rejected from Michigan. Technically I'm still waitlisted. Besides State is an okay school and I'll probably just transfer after a year of banging State hoes. Who gives a fuck anyway--I'm just anxious to get stoned before the senior all night party.
Jared age 21: Fuck those Michigan nerds. I never wanted to go there anyway. I've been a State fan my whole life. They waste their lives studying. And finally I'm old enough to go out to the bars--sure I couldn't get laid in the frats but I'm sure my luck will change at the bar. I just have to nail the hoes when their really drunk. I'll swoop in as soon as the bouncers take them out and offer to walk her home. I know I have a test Monday but fuck it. I'm smart enough to study Sunday and ace it.
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There are two types of people who attend Michigan State University:
1. People who were, quite frankly, too stupid to get into the University of Michigan
and...
2. People who are happy to be there because, quite frankly, they couldn't get into anywhere else
Type 1 will often ramble on and on about how bad U of M "sucks", and will often try to fabricate reasons for why this is true. Type 1 will claim that U of M is "overrated" for undergraduate studies while ignoring our business, engineering, and LSA schools (top ranked in the country no matter how you spin it), our direct placement into great jobs after graduation, and our placement into top graduate, medical, and law schools across the country after graduation.
Type 1 will often argue that MSU is the place to go if you want to party. OK. U of M is the place to go if you want a GOOD job. Michigan graduates will secure jobs with firms in NYC, LA, and Chicago. MSU grads STAY in Michigan.
Both Type 1 and Type 2 truly believe in a rivalry between Michigan and Michigan State, which Michigan students will refuse to acknowledge simply because they already KNOW they're better.
Michigan State students are not taught to love Michigan State--they're taught to hate the University of Michigan. What you get is a school of bitter idiots who party so much in order to drink away the pain of rejection from one of our nation's great universities.
"Dude, U of M sucks for undergrad. Our girls are so much hotter."
"Dude, I'd rather spend my college years having fun than go to Michigan and study all the time."
"Uh, yeah...I got into Michigan, but, uh...yeah...I saw how they studied so I was like 'FUCK THAT'."
"Michigan State University is comparable to the likes of Stanford, Berkeley, Yale, Michigan, and Carnegie Mellon. People just don't know it yet!"
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A college in Kalamazoo, Michigan. The backup for most students who don't get into State, resulting in excessive drinking and drug use. No doubt that Western rules the BP table. One of those places you go for the parties and not the degrees.
I couldn't get into State, so I will just drink a lot at Western Michigan University.
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A university known for its community college experience, without the hassles of parental supervision. Also known for misshapen women, lukewarm beer, and endless fields of multiple varieties of corn.
"Did you get into Mott Community College?"
"No, I'm at Central michigan university this year, but maybe I'll get in next year! I hope..."
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A place near Detroit. Alot of people think just because its near Detroit its "ghetto" but its really not. Its not the nicest place to live, but not ghetto. There are alot of "clones" meaning, alot of people who all look the same or try to. Everyone tries to dress the same way, or look "scene". Alot of kids smoke weed, and dont give a damn what you think of them. Mess with someone there, and MOST LIKELY, they're going to want to fight you.
Girl1 (talking to friends) She's just a slut, and I dont care about her.
---> NEXT DAY <---
Girl2 (talking to Girl1) I heard that you called me a slut ?
Girl1 Yeah, I did.
Girl2 BITCH!
*fight starts*
Lincoln Park, Michigan
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The bronze medal of Michigan. No matter how you spin it this school is worse than Michigan--the gold Medal of the state. The boys are dumb and act like wiggers. The girls are pretty but very very stupid. These kids wanted to go to Michigan their whole lives, but then they got what us "rodents" never receive--a rejection letter. State students should get used to seeing a lot of these. It is more of a party school--I guess. But it gets old fast when you realize the only thing to do is to drink beer from a red cup at a party where you can't even move. Get used to beer pong, because that is all there is to do there. Michigan on the other hand has, parties, a far better bar scene, and museums. Plus its in Ann Arbor so there is always some cultural event. East Lansing just has the shitty bar known as Rick's. Also the water tastes like crap for some reason. The only advantage to State is that its football and basketball teams are beating ours at the moment. Then again if you think that is a real advantage your a moron. Sports teams go up and down all the time. I hope its a big comfort for you state kids when its time to get my coffee.
Dad on son's day of birth: My son is a Michigan boy all the way. He's going to get a michigan cradle, a Michigan blanket, and a miniature Michigan outfit.
Son at age 16: Oh boy me and my Dad are going up to Michigan today. We've been going to the Big House for the Michigan v Michigan State game ever since I can remember. I can't wait until I finally get to Ann Arbor.
Dad when son is 18: My son screwed around and ruined his future. I have to smile and pretend like I'm so proud he's going to Michigan State University. But to be honest I'm jealous of your son Bob; can you please tell me what it feels like to watch that packet arrive knowing that the last 18 years payed off and that your son is accepted to Michigan?
Son at 19: No man, you don't even understand. I never wanted to go to Michigan; I've been a state man my whole life. You see Michigan kids don't live their life. While they're studying I'm here taking a piss on Sigma Chi's dumpster drinking a beer and living my life. Ya the cops here aren't as cool so i have to hide my beer, and ya the beer isn't free; but the grinding on random girls here is so much better than the grinding at Ann Arbor.
Son at 26: I know I'm going to graduate next year. Besides I can't leave until I lose my virginity. Plus I want our football and basketball to be number one again. Who knew Michigan would get good so fast. Its not as if sports teams get better and worse randomly all the time--oh wait they do.
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