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n. The term used to describe one who feigns intellect, through ostentatiously purchasing high-brow books with no intention of actually reading them.
Clean-books are so-called from their library of mint condition paper backs, each with crisp, virgin pages, bereft of even a single crease in their spines. As any real reader knows, a typical paperback usually becomes visibly worn and battered after the first time it has been read.
Common behaviour of clean-books includes the frequent posting of Facebook statuses about the books that they have purchased, or the occasional, generic, trite review. Eg: "Hemmingway- what an author.", or "Moby Dick is a good read." Some clean-books go to further lengths than others, and are even known to read reviews or full synopses of the books online, as well as memorizing popular online opinions and interpretations in case their integrity is challenged.
"He's not really as smart as he makes out; he's a bit of a clean-book."
"I went to John's house to borrow Treasure Island, and he's a fucking clean-book! You should have seen how pristine all his books were!
Book wanker -
A person who spunks their pants while presenting lore from books they’ve read (half read) when engaged in conversation with people who talk about a tv show/film they’ve watched that neither asked for nor care about the tedious facts they are being lambasted with.
Me - “In Game of thrones I can’t remember wolf wifey’s name”
Book wanker - “Red hair, Sansa?”
Me - “no, her mum”
Book wanker - “fish wifey?”
Me - “no, Neds wife. The starks. They’re dire wolves no?”
Book wanker - “actually she’s a Tully, their emblem is a fish. I know this because I read the books”
Me - “ you’re a book wanker”
A type of socially debilitating guilt experienced only by English Literature students when performing tasks that either intentionally or unavoidably prevent them from reading.
Dude, I had a tug today when I could have been reading. I had such serious book guilt!
The best (mis)use of an apostrophe spotted outside a city bookstore in mainland China.
An English tourist (who is a linguist professor back home) was reported to have experienced a seconds-long stroke on seeing the “Mathematic’s books” classification, and the cashier on seeing her customer’s dizziness immediately jumped to her rescue.
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The Biblical book detailing the crisis of faith in the Bro Code.
Dude, Brob looses his weed and nachos, but still keeps his faith in Jebrovah! I read about it in the Book of Brob!
One who steals books to sell them back for money. Book Snatchers are usually found on or around a campus.
Damn man, I can't find my book I think a book snatcher got it!
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