Couch Medicine

Smoking weed because after you smoke you usually end up on the couch and spend a lot of time with it. When you smoke so much you just wanna spend time on your couch.

Ben: I don't feel like doing shit today.
Caves: I got the perfect remedy for that we need to get some of that couch medicine.
Ben: Oh word we out then lets go cop some.
(30 mins later)
Ben: God damn my mind has ascended.
Caves: Worrrrrrd yo this show is mad intense.
Ben: The TV ain't on though.
Caves: Oh shit.

5👍 2👎

couch lizard

Juvenile form of the couch potato
More generally: children - specifically the kind that veg out on the couch watching anime and playing video games while their physiques atrophy.

Seen on Fark.com in the thread, "TFer heard his baby's heartbeat for the first time. What life changing event happened to you today?"

"...to anyone else who is considering skipping out on their birth control, I have a few couch lizards that you can borrow for a test drive. Might make you reconsider."

4👍 2👎

couch hopper

a person who is down on her luck (or just doesn't like living at her permanent residence), but has so many good friends that she will never be homeless because she can sleep on a different couch every night of the month

I am a professional couch hopper; hotel rooms are for amateurs or rich folk not poor college students with lots of amazing friends.

4👍 2👎

Scrotum Couch

An object on which to rest your testicles. Common objects include a chin, a bag of ice (after a kicking), and a butthole (during intercourse).

Ron - 'Hey, Tim. Last night I turned Sally's chin into a scrotum couch.'

Tim - 'Sally Winters?'

Ron - 'Yeah. She was all over this shaft.'

Tim - 'You son of a bitch. I'm dating her now.'

4👍 2👎

Couch Slug

post coital vaginal and seminal fluid left behind by a naked woman who sits on a couch.

“Norah you dirty slut, you left a greasy couch slug on my new futon!”

6👍 4👎

Blue Couch

A picture of a woman with the largest penis ever created by science in her mouth as she sits in front of a Blue Couch sent in the form of a text to an unsuspecting person with the words "Hey I'm selling this Blue Couch but unfortunatly this is the only pic i have of it so let me know if you're interested."

Jeffrey: Hey Alex, want me to send you the Blue Couch?
Alex: NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

5👍 3👎

Couch Scabies

A non-harmful sexually transmitted disease obtained from having sex with your couch, in which things inside your couch become stuck to the end of a mans penis.

dude, my sofa gave me couch scabies

8👍 7👎