I have no friends

When all your friends think they're too cool for you and leave you.

(Talking to self): Joe and Bob decided I am so bad at making jokes that i'm not good enough so I have no friends.

33👍 3👎

let's be having you

A phrased that one uses to call out or pump up a large group of people. Made infamous by Delia Smith

"This is a message for possibly the best supporters in the world. We need a 12th man here. Where are you? Where are you? Let's be having you! Come on!"

- Delia Smith to Norwich City supporters

97👍 14👎

I have a goldfish

What you say when a girl says "I have a boyfriend."

girl - "I have a boyfriend."

guy - "I have a goldfish."

girl - "what?"

Guy - "Oh I thought we were talking about stuff that didn't matter."

147👍 23👎

Having yourself on toast

The person loves themselves that much, they are so up themselves that if they had a round of toast they would definitely spread themselves on it. They are loving themselves sick.

'look at her over there, she is definitely having herself on toast'

'you're having yourself on toast ain't ya'

I have Prime

Phrase you use to justify your compulsive buying disorder on Amazon. (You pay for a monthly membership so you have to keep buying stuff right?)

Wife: "Honey, I'm worried about how much you are spending on Amazon, do we really needed another set of knives and color changing light bulbs? also they keyboard has been working fine why did you order a new one?
Husband: "Don't worry honey, I have Prime"

Have a great day!

What people say when they really mean fuck off.

I do not have to be talking to you because you’re not worth my time. Have a great day!

Thanks, and have fun

Random Crits are fair and balanced

Welcome to Team Fortress 2. After nine years in development, hopefully it will have been worth the wait. To listen to a commentary node, put your crosshair over the floating commentary symbol and press your primary fire. To stop a commentary node, put your crosshair over the rotating node and press your primary fire again. Some commentary nodes may take control of the game in order to show something to you. In these cases, simply press your primary fire again to stop the commentary. In addition, your secondary fire will cycle you through all the commentary nodes in the level. Please let me know what you think after you have had a chance to play. I can be reached at gaben@valvesoftware.com, and my favorite class is the Spy. Thanks, and have fun!