Random
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Random
the act of sticking your finger up your own ass, and milking your prostate...then adding it to cream your coffee.
Sam thought I was still asleep when I caught him making morning joe. I haven't had coffee since.
58👍 52👎
When you wake up with an erection.
Today I woke up with morning stiffness.
15👍 10👎
When the office concubine trots into work in her beloved club attire, probably from the night before, and it instantaneously induces feelings of nausea.
Lauren is giving me the morning sickness with that tube dress, five inch knock off heels and bad weave.
18👍 12👎
what you get the day after a hard night of drinking
I had some nasty morning ass today after drinking too many microbrews last night.
9👍 5👎
A hot steamy pan of dookie pie, usually served in bed, restrained.
"Good morning honey, what's for break-oh the hell's that smell?"
"Hold on honey! *brrrp* Umph! *frapapapapapa* Ahhh. Here you go sweetie, morning breakfast"
"Oh what the Bolshevik!"
19👍 14👎
a thing that i get when i wake up then, after wiping the sand crusties out of my eyes i chop my morning wood if you know what i mean
man my morning wood was so big i choped that wood till i photosynthisied all over my bed
41👍 37👎
After awaking with a massive erection, masturbate until near ejaculation. Then gently wake up your girlfriend, wife, or transient hooker and commence ejaculation in their barely open eyes.
Wife: Did you just..? Oh my God its everywhere, my eyes are burning! You asshole!
Husband: Behold the beauty of morning glory!
250👍 268👎