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The process in which the evil robot race known as "women" enslave men for eternity. This process includes many practices like exchanging two silver bands and placing them upon each others fingers, exchanging something called "vows" declaring the loyalty to the other party. This process can also be called "moving to Albuquerque" or "putting on the ball and chain" after this process is complete the woman begins to slowly suck the life out of the man over the years till nothing remains but an obedient shell of what used to be a good friend of yours.
"did you hear? Dave got married!"
"dude, marriage sucks"
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a union between a man and woman for the purposes of being lifelong partners, friends, and lovers. It is a beautiful thing when used with discretion. A marriage is so much more than just a wedding. Of course anyone would want to have a grand reception and go on a honeymoon, but a marriage is an eternal willing choice.
Their marriage has remained the most loving, romantic union that I have ever seen.
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One's (specifically my) opportunity to finally come together with the girl he loves, and spend the rest of his life with her. Protect her, love her, raise a family with her, and generally enjoy each other until the day they die.
"I love Kara more than anyone on the face of this Earth. I yearn to marry her. Our marriage will be magical" -Matt
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an outdated custom in the world today, that is fully supported by an archiac concept known as religion.
For some reason more and more today men seem to be the one's putting unbelievable pressure upon themselves to get married, when the actual outcome of the act itself has little to no benefit to men. Its basically agreeing to become a woman's new father, so her real father can finally say "Congratulations!" (translation: now she's your problem!). The stigma being its better to be in a marriage (even if you and your wife havent had sex in years, resent each other, and have kids that are a mess) then to be a single, middle aged man.
This definition has yet to take into account "divorce", which deserves a definition all its own, but since marriage leads to divorce needs to be mentioned with it.
George: Wow, so Steve got married huh?
Bill: Yeh, marriage after dating her for 4 months! You should hear him go on about it.
George: Go on about what?! He now gets to enjoy sex with the same person all the time. Thats like me bragging about the banana I have for breakfast every morning and how it gets better and better.
Bill: Hey I hear ya, I didnt understand it either. Good luck to him.
George: I mean if you rushed into it, I'd understand that, any woman willing to marry your gremlin ass you gotta run with, but Steve.....
Bill: You got me there, but that still doesnt explain what the hell I was thinking in banging your sister, least I pulled out and got her in the face for good measure.
George: I hear ya, like when you go outta town and I go to your gf's, its like a shooting gallery, and she's got a target right on her face.
Bill: Fuck you and your whore sister.
George: Not as much as I fuck your gf, bitch.
*Bill and George start kissing*
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The Eternal suffocation of your left ring finger.
My friends marriage led to his ring finger being amputated
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The time when a pair leaves the home. Of course I am referring to the testicles leaving the man as he loses all masculinity and lives out the worst part of his life as his wifes bitch.
Friend: You wanna go to the game tomorrow?
Married man: hold on let me check with the wife, I think she wanted to go to pottery barn tomorrow.
Friend:...
Marriage sucks
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1. A government contract, currently between a man and a woman, which creates a legal entity with legal rights bestowed upon it, as well as a government recognized tax status.
2. A contract that cannot be entered into legally without a government authorized license - See also Driver, Dog, Business, Liquor, Concealed Weapon, To Kill, etc.
3. A recognized legal status that may help a person become a citizen, assuming they can correctly tell an agent of the government what their wife wears to bed and if she hogs the covers or not.
4. The leading cause of divorce. (a precursor to divorce)(the first step to acquiring a divorce)
5. The result of Marrying.
6. Something begun with a license and a ceremony, and generally disolved with lawyers and judge, or by death.
7. A romantic notion of never-ending love. See also Fairy Tale
8. A ceremony that will have every detail planned, and way too much money spent, that will then transition into a possibly lifelong period that is given less advanced thought and/or financial planning.
Their marriage was begun in a church and ended in a court.
Their marriage ensured that they would be taxed at a lower rate than being single, but not as low as an LLC, LP, or Corp, which, unlike marriage, can only be entered into for legitimate purposes.
Their marriage was in question with the Department of Immigration and Naturalization Services, as he didn't seem to be the type of person an American girl would want to marry.
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