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The British equivalent of American white trash - but more ghetto and less redneck
British chav: Piss off ya stupid yankee prick or i'll thump your arse good, ya hear me fucker? (*bling bling*)
American redneck: shut up you stupid liberal limey queer! you anti-American God-hating liberal losers got your asses kicked in the Revolution. just you come on down to Texas and say that in front of me and my 7 cousins and we'll show you the 2nd Amendment you stupid punk! oh yeah, and God Bless America too!
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The UK's answer to the wigger, with most of the black slang being lost in the move across the Atlantic and curiously replaced by Burberry. The attitude, utter uselessness, and tendancy to start reproducing before one is old enough to shave remains unchanged. Vehicle modification and aversion to legally purchased items are likewise similar. Minor regional variances in clothing and music tastes may occur, but do not hinder identification - if you've seen one, you will immediately be able to recognize the other types.
"Why's that guy got his tracksuit tucked into his socks?"
"That thing's a chav. Just like the ones you've got back home that wear their trousers with the crotch down at their ankles. We just don't have clothes big enough here, so they had to pick something else that looked just as stupid. But inside, they're all the same."
"Oh, a wigger? They've made it over here, too? The planet is doomed!"
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These strange species can seem perfectly harmless until they are placed in their natural habitat. If there is a silverbacked chav who is superior to everyone as he has the latest Scooter album, the other chavs will form a protective ring around him.
These scourge plague the streets of most cities, but most of all Newcastle. The male of the species will have short spiked hair, and will pretend their voice is deep years before it has broken, which appears to be an effective mating call. The female of the species will wear truckloads of makeup and huge (often plastic) earrings the size of the millennium wheel. If temperatures are below -5 degrees C, they will feel inclined to wear a mini skirt which barely covers their hips (see also: Micro Skirt)
When the male and female of the species meet, the male will put on a burbry cap to seem more attractive. Within an hour the two will have engaged in unprotected sex and whoops!...there goes another teenage pregnancy, another scum bag to pay for in our taxes!
Chavs will also force themselves to start smoking at the age of about 12, which is a sign that they are "Hard" or "Belter".
Any human verbal interaction with these vermin will result in an absolutely moronic response such as "Hew man you fucking daft cunt!" when asked to rephrase their inadequately worded statement, the same, only slightly more angry response is thrown at you.
No other 'race' other than their own is acceptable. Any goths, punks, skaters or grungies are renamed to "tree huggers" or "hippys". They do not have the brain cells to understand that they are infact the worst scourge of this planet!
Lastly, they will start fights with anybody that's smaller than them, to try and make themselves feel highly superior, and to try and impress the opposite sex. The long long list could go on forever.
To sum it up, these spangle stained hooligans are a dire example of Darwin's "Survival of the fittest" and are a complete waste of space, carbon lifeform, and tax payers money!
Look! There's some chavs! Where's that nitroglycerin I prepared earlier?
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a twattish person who like nazis label and stereotype everyone else
also they like to start fights then run away and mug old ladies
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How to turn urself into a chav:
1. Ditch all normal and perfectly acceptable clothes, and wear some shabby tracksuit. Oh dear, u noticed that the trousers are too small, ah well tuck 'em in ur bright yellow socks n no1 will notice.............yea rite.
2. Grab urself a baseball cap and any old chains that look sparkly....
3. Now, shove your hands in ur v. tredy tracksuit pockets and learn the chav walk- sweep each shoulder down, forwards and then upwards making an arch and drag your body along with your shoulders.
4. Now, light a cigarette and suck ur life away on it (some how thinking this is the coolest thing to do).
5. The most important thing to to learn to speak propa. this cannot be taught, like most accents im afraid you'll actually have to hang around with the miserable creatures and hope to just pick it up.
6. Finally you just hang around bus stops, Mc Donalds, Sports shops and pretend u have money to buy stuff from those shops. Walk in the middle of roads (how cum they neva actually get run ova? :( ) and just be pushed to the very fringes of respectable society and take the tremendous leap to the category- scum.
Now, my (once) friend. You have become a complete chav. You are now harder and more tough than anybody i will eva know and i give u all rites to completely ruin the lives of others. Most importantly remember....if somebody looks at u it means they're thinking of killing u, try and think of a clever remark, but don't worry it dosen't ACTUALLY have to be cleva because for you that would be impossible.....
see a chav, kill a chav.......it's a living.
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Chav: a type of person who lacks the intelligence to be able to speak or write proper english, uses words, if they are proper words such as 'blingin', 'mingin' etc
You will normally find them outside McDonalds. Their favourite hobbies: picking on anybody who has a brain, having underage sex with no protection, getting drunk, starting a fight with some random person who has done nothing to them except say "hi".
A chav can be quite easily be identified by their clothing. A Burberry (from the local market- 99p, a bargain!) cap, a Nickelson t shirt, and a Schott hoodie, with adidas tracksuit bottoms rolled into their white nike socks and wearing nike trainers. Female chavs tend to have their hair in a tight bun or ponytail witht the help of several cans of hairspray, their face will be painted in cheap makeup; layer and layers of cheap foundation, mascara and eyeliner. Chavs enjoy showing off their "bling". "Bling" often looks like chocolate coins & is costs £1.99 from Argos. It often appears in the form of over-sized, fake-gold hoop earrings. Favourite jobs of chavs: drug dealer, McDonalds worker, prostitute, page 3 'model'. Chavs are also known as: 'scum', 'idiots' and any other insult there is on this earth.
You can tell if someone is a chav or not mostly by their attitude. They think that anyone who doesn't listen to "their" music is a grunger. They think that Burberry is the height of fashion & they look down on anyone who isn't exactly like them. How to humiliate a chav: ask them to recite the alphabet.
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chav: council house and violence
"Mother what does the word chav stand for?"
"It stands for council house and violence ma lil stunna mwah mwah mwah pwincess big nips."
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