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A place to Worship God our father. Gods house. Where all his people gather to speak of his beautiful word.
In church The pastor Spoke of Jesus the Son of God.
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1:where you tell your parents your going to be for the next few hours, when in reality,youll be at your boyfriends house,fucking him
"hey mom? im going to church in an hour. have you seen my red dress? the one with the slit up the side?
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When someone disses you to prove they are morally better person than you, and occassionally left in awe
Anton: "What makes you think you so hot fool?"
Leroy: "Oh don't give me that shit, you don't see me gangbanging or doing drugs, I volunteer at the shelter on my days off and give my homeless homies my old clothes and things. What do you do all week? Smoke weed, bang hookers, sleep on a couch all fucking day, evaluate your priorities fool!.
Anton: "..."
Gerald: "Anton, you just got churched!"
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Somewhere you are forced to go on sunday mornings. If you manage to stay concious throughout the whole thing, kudos to you. It can sometimes last for hours on end.
See also torture and suicide
1) Boy 1: Hey, you wanna come over and play Xbox on sunday morning?
Boy 2: Can't.
Boy 1: How come?
Boy 2: My mom is making me go to church.
Boy 1: Man, that blows.
Boy 2: Tell me about it. I might have to shoot myself after baldy's sermon.
Boy 1: Good luck, man.
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An increasingly prevalent and defining aspect of the church in America(Churchus Americanus), is its symbiotic relationship with the gas station or convenience store. Scientists have been unable to ascertain exactly how they benefit each other, but the Church and the Gas Station/Convenience Store are frequently found near each other. This relationship has vexed scientists for the last 50 years, when it was first observed. They are not mutually dependent, but they seem to prosper more when together, and Churches independent of Gas Stations and 7/11 are becoming endangered. 7/11 tends to bond more exclusively with liberal denomination churches. AM/PM is far more versatile but works well with the more traditional and conservative churches.
Ex. 1
"By god's will, in this mighty Church, there will be pound cake to dip in orange soda at communion."
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A slang word that stands for "A man's gotta feed his family sometimes".
"Nah, I can't buy a G. Ya'know; CHURCH."
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That thing with the stuff where they tell all those lies
(1)on church they told me that Jesus can walk on water, and I told them that Chuck Norris can walk on Jesus
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