Soccer Momdementalist

noun: (see soccer mom)
1. A prissy, sexually repressed middle aged mother who reacts with self righteous indignation to any self confident attractive woman who invades her personal domain (any activity she participates in)

She views other attractive and self confident women as a threat to her existence, especially when her husband and children pay more attention to them then they do to her.

She reacts with a fundamentalist furor attempting to force her self righteous morality upon others by complaining to anyone who will listening and if that fails, using bribery and financial blackmail to get her way.

You should have seen the looks on the Soccer Momdementalist's faces when they saw us in our new derby outfits.

9👍 4👎

soccer match

A guy who can have sex real good.

If he got a soccer match shirt on he can get it

Soccer Mom

A white suburban mom, from 25 to 50 who refers to her kids as her “Precious Little Angels”, and shields them from reality constantly. They are not allowed to watch any movies rated over PG-13, and they can fuckin forget about watching any R-rated movies. Also not allowed to play any games not rated E. Also not allowed to interact with “the wrong crowd”. This includes, but is not limited to, anyone who isn’t white, anyone who isn’t a fundamentalist Christian, and anyone who doesn’t believe in right-wing bullshit. Also she automatically assumes that anything that isn’t Christian is either atheist or Satanic. She drives a “safe” 45 in a 70 mile per hour zone in her massive minivan or SUV to protect her “Precious Little Angels”, who are still in rear-facing carseats at ages 10 and 12. Usually also a Karen. Will often call the police when something doesn’t go her way or to discipline kids other than her own, and more often than not the cops are on this bitch’s side. If you see her, RUN AWAY AND GET AS FAR AWAY FROM HER AS POSSIBLE.

Me: WHAT THE FUCK BITCH? YOU WERE DRIVING FUCKING 45 ON A FUCKING HIGHWAY!
Soccer Mom: YOU WILL NOT USE SUCH LANGUAGE AROUND MY PERFECT LITTLE ANGELS! MY KIDS ARE HONOR ROLL STUDENTS AND GO TO CHURCH!
Me: YOU THINK I GIVE A SHIT? DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MUCH REPAIRS ARE GOING TO FUCKING COST?
SM: LANGUAGE AGAIN! HEY, WHY ARE YOU DRIVING A PRIUS LIKE AN ATHEIST INSTEAD OF A MINIVAN, SUV, OR TRUCK LIKE A CHRISTIAN, YOU LIBERAL HEATHEN!
Me: WHY DOES THAT FUCKING MATTER? YOU ARE GOING TO PAY FOR THE DAMAGE TO MY CAR!

SM: YOU WILL NOT YELL AT ME! AND IS THAT GTA ON THE FRONT SEAT? VIOLENT VIDEO GAMES ARE THE REASON WE HAVE MASS SHOOTINGS AND SERIAL KILLERS! IM CALLING THE POLICE! (calls 911)
(The police arrived and put me at fault when it was this bitch’s fault. Thank God I have a dashcam.)

Soccer Mom

If you see her, run. If you talk to her, run. If her kid attacks you, expect to be in court. Just stay away from this beast of burden.

''C'mon Dorothy time for soccer practice!''
''Hey mom your a soccer mom''
''Yeah i know.''
''Cool.''
''Karen.''
'EXCUSE ME SWEETY , IS THAT HOW YOU SPEAK TO YOUR MOTHER IM GOING TO TALK TO THE MANAGER ABOUT YOUR ATTITUDE MISS.''

Soccer mom

A middle aged woman with a child the woman has to have everything perfect and goes crazy if someone comes at her child

Stop being a soccer mom

Street Soccer

Street Soccer is played everywhere in the world. It has organizations, and it can be played on side streets. It takes a ball with several players. Youngster's play this way from the start in South America. Countries host tournament's throughout the world.

A tournament is played as a Street Soccer World Cup.

Call Soccer

A maligned practice of lazy employees at a call center or helpdesk who routinely reject, roll, or "kick" calls to other employees in the queue when they don't feel like doing their job but are otherwise capable of taking a call.

We had four people in the call queue this morning but I ended up with all the calls because the others were playing Call Soccer.